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janet: guess i understand only too well how you feel. i am on vacation visiting my children in michigan, trying to appear as normal a 'mom' as i always was. but i can see in their eyes their concern when my speech slows down and sounds flat, and i stumble over words - and i have to stop and take meds.... but i thought i was doing fairly well until this afternoon. we walked to the ice cream place to get blizzards. a short walk for all of them, but it seemed so far to me today. and then i sat down at a picnic table to eat my ice cream, and i couldn't get back up. i had to call out to my daughter in law for help. then even though i was standing up, i couldn't walk for a few minutes. they tried to reassure me-- they'd go get the car and come back for me. but i managed to get going and walked slowly back to the house. this is so alien to me: having to ask for assistance. my whole life i've had to be the 'strong' one, the oldest daughter, the cg for parents who have since passed on, the one whose door was always open to help others, who could be depended on. this is perhaps the hardest part of pd: admitting your limitations to yourself, the changing roles from cg to one who needs a cg. :( my heart goes out to you janet. all i can say is i know how you feel. barb k janet wrote: 'the asking itself is my mountain which i am trying to look at with my molehill lenses maybe writing all this to some who might understand is a start'