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> Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have > to hear about all the men she could have married, and > she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked. > ____________________________________________ > > An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, > she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten > instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, "They > wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them > to take me out when I'm dead. > ____________________________________________ > > A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would > you do if you had to arrest your own mother?" He said, > "Call for backup." > ____________________________________________ > > A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before > she dismissed them to go to church, "And why is it > necessary to be quiet in church?" Annie replied, "Because > people are sleeping." > ____________________________________________ > > A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and > Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem. A small child > replied: "They couldn't get a baby-sitter." > _____________________________________________ > > A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten > Commandments with her five and six year olds. After > explaining the commandment to "honor thy father and thy > mother," she asked "Is there a commandment that teaches > us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing > a beat one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill." > _____________________________________________ > > At Sunday School they were teaching how God created > everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed > especially intent when they told him how Eve was created > out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother > noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, > Johnny what is the matter? Little Johnny responded, "I have > a pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife." > _____________________________________________ > > A very dirty little fellow came in from playing in the yard > and asked his mother, "Who am I? " Ready to play the game > she said, "I don't know! Who are you?" "WOW!" cried the > child. "Mrs. Johnson was right! She said I was so dirty, my > own mother wouldn't recognize me!" > _____________________________________________ > > A wise schoolteacher sends this note to all parents on the > first day of school: "If you promise not to believe everything > your child says happens at school, I'll promise not to believe > everything he says happens at home.