Dear janet: Unfortunately, I did not know Paige Bremer I
think she would have been one of my heroes, too. You are so
eloquent I don't know if what I'm going to say is
superfluous, but here goes-
What makes Clinical Depression worse than PD:
Is the anhedonic, utterly joyless existence it imposes upon
its victims. Its all about loss. The world loses its color,
food its taste, friends and family their ability to comfort
us, lovers their ability to touch us.
Is the way it has of creeping into our heads and whispering
to us that we are all alone, that there is no hope and no
cure and that death is the only answer to the blackness
inside and out.
Is the way people can't "see" it, so they can't understand
it. Healthy people are skeptical of this kind of invisible
disease. They often view it as a "mental" illness, somehow
shameful, or a sham, characterized by laziness or a lack of
character. Those afflicted with CD can't understand how the
lack of neuro-transmitters in the brain can cause such
devastation. They become convinced that they are losing
theirs minds and lose their heart and their will to go on.
I had one young client tell he knew that "brain chemicals"
could never be this powerful and that he was afraid that
the "demons" living in his brain could never be quieted
with a mere pill.
Is the ones I have known who have become lost and forfeited
their lives:
The 33 year old woman who walked into on-going traffic one
rainy night on I-95.
The 14 year old boy who laid down on the railroad tracks in
front of a train.
The middle-aged woman who jumped from the 6th floor of the
mall to the lobby below.
The single woman who cut herself 400 times with a box
cutter before she laid down to die.
Is the fact that Clinical Depression is:
A DISEASE
CURABLE
CONTINUES TO KILL
Carole Hercun, RN,C
--- janet paterson <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
"http://www.geocities.com/janet313/wordspie/suicide/index.html"
>
> this page has been one of the most freqently 'hit'
> single subject pages on my site
>
> and now the
> jant rant continues:
>
> if only ...
> i might have ...
> maybe we should've ...
>
> i have heard of too many pd-related suicides
> it's giving pd a bad name
>
> as a veteran of 12 years of pd [as diagnosed]
> and 10 years of cd [as diagnosed]
> i tend to think that cd is the more insidious
>
> at least with pd and sinemet
> there's a little relief in the symptoms
> good hard evidence of a little light at the end of the
> tunnel now and again
>
> with cd my thinking becomes so negative,
> that i can't imagine any other way or time or being;
> i can't imagine anything; i can barely think at all
>
> being a parkie doesn't mean i can't be perky at the same
> time
>
> being in cd can make me feel worse than
> if i had ms, pd, als, psp, and msa combined
> and [this is the real kicker]
> even if i had none of the above
>
> cd sucks the joy and the possibility
> out of every single aspect and moment of life
>
> cd causes 'paralysis of will' which imho is profoundly
> more debilitating than pd
>
> cd distorts and twists ordinary thinking patterns
> into downward spiraling and self perptuating
> doom and gloom prophesies
> [which are way beyond the reach of any ideas about
> 'bootstraps']
> viz my little attempt at a scriptlette:
> [help me out here, carole, huh?]
>
> "research? it'll be a cold day in hell ..."
> "mjf? he's just in it for the sympathy ..."
> "hope? are you nuts?" "they are all blowing hot air"
> "forum? what's the use .. the nih is just a cash hog"
> "no, i just can't bear the idea of having to see a
> shrink"
> "there's never going to be a cure ... don't waste my
> time"
> "i'll never figure out this dsse form ... i can't
> concentrate ...
> bernie is crazy if he thinks i'm going to spend all day
> filling in all this stuff" ...
> "i will never get any better - it's hopeless"
> "no, i don't want to talk to anyone, take a message"
> "so what if i haven't been out of the house in a month
> ...
> there's nothing out there i haven't seen before ... i
> don't want to go out"
> "i can't stop wanting to cry ... what a fool i am ..."
> "the men in the white coats are going to come get me if i
> let on..."
> "this new med will never work so there's no point in
> trying it..."
> "maybe i'll get out of bed tomorrow, i can't face
> anything today..."
> "... i forgot my meds again, what's the point ... "
> "why can't i get myself out of this? i must be losing my
> mind ... "
> "this pain is unbearable already and it keeps getting
> worse ..."
> "all my friends have deserted me... they can't stand me
> anymore ..."
> "... i can't stand me anymore ..."
>
> and on and on ad nauseum
> and eventually to utter despair
> and ultimately maybe to suicide
>
>
> we are hoping against hope for a cure for pd
> imagine having a cure for it right now
> maybe even for the past five years
> and hardly anyone is taking it
> because of toxic shame
> and society stereotypically saying
> there's nothing wrong with you that a little willpower
> won't fix
>
> boggles the mind...
>
> jant
> done for mow
>
> janet paterson
> 53 now / 41 dx / 37 onset
> 613 256 8340 / PO Box 171 Almonte Ontario K0A 1A0 Canada
> visit my website "a new voice" at:
"http://www.geocities.com/janet313/"
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