Dear Alf-- you've already had a lot of helpful responses about your wife's
"denial", which is what I feel is probably what is going on. Just as all
PWPs experience PD differently, so do all CGs differ in how soon or well
they can handle the down-the-road implications of this diagnosis. If you
have already worked through your own feelings of denial and can deal with
the future (whatever it may bring) good for you! She may do this
differently, and after all you are two different people. Choose the
suggestions that seem to best fit your relationship---the more involved she
can be the better but it may not happen all at once. (And you know her a
lot better than we do! Is this her usual way of trying to cope with bad
news?) If and when she's ready, she would be welcome on CARE, and would
find lots of support there.
Remember too that at the YOUNG age of 50 you may well profit from the
resesarch now going full steam ahead. As you educate yourself, you will
later be able to educate her--but it may be a bit like trying to teach your
kids about *sex*---you talk and talk, but they only hear what they are
*ready* to hear !
>I know caregivers must have a difficult time, finding their lives turned
>upside down, especially after years of effort, but how do I deal with my
>wife (I'm not modern enough to call her a 'significant other') who responds
>to every report of my condition with a "that's probably just because of your
>age". I'm 50, I've had the symptoms for nearly two years, got a firm
>diagnosis from a Neurologist about two months ago. OK, so it's early days
>and I don't need meds, and the tremor etc doesn't get in the way of doing
>things. But I notice changes which I also read about in forums like this
>one, like vivid dreams, blurred vision, loss of smell, and so on. I have to
>say, I'm acutely aware of becoming a hypochondriac (-you know, the best way
>to make your family ill? Buy them a medical book for Xmas!) So, I kinda note
>the new symptoms with the same interest as, I imagine, a pregnant woman
>notes the subtle changes in her body. One day the bump is going to be
>obvious to everyone. But for now, when I report some new observation I'd
>like the conversation to be about the possibility that it may be related to
>PD, not have it dismissed as "Look you're getting older, you might have
>expected this to happen anyway..." Am I being unfair, am I missing
>something.... any caregivers out there who want to fire an opinion my way.
>Alf
>50/<1/2
Camilla Flintermann, CG for Peter 82/70/55
Oxford, Ohio
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on PDWebring at
http://members.tripod.lycos.nl/genugten/flinterm.htm
"Ask me about the CARE list for
Caregivers of Parkinsonians ! "
And visit the CARE webring at
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