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(Please take note, in my parlance "Guys" is non-gender specific) What a great bunch of guys you are. It was very encouraging to hear your opinions and reassuring that maybe I am not the 'old hypochondriac' I was in danger of coming to believe. Barb, first off the mark and right on the button, yeah, of course we have to face this intrusion jointly and I'll have to find some patience to help Paula accept it as much as I have to. Jaunita, good advice, Paula isn't too patient with computers, especially the cronky old one at home! but I'm planning to get a new one in a few weeks, and then I'll encourage her to do some researching and talking. I think it may be time to take her along on my next consultation, up 'till now I've worried that when the Doc asks me about new symptoms, she might just chip in with a "but you've been like that for years..." Anyway, he's convinced about the diagnosis, so I guess he'll be on my side. Hillary, spoken from the heart, albeit it late night.... you see the frustration I sometimes feel. As to your new found friendship, PD isn't going to go away and like it or not, it will be a part of your daily lives together. The most desirable partner in the universe is not worth having if he/she can't accept and adapt to that which you cannot change. You may be wishing for all kinds of other good reasons for wanting this relationship, but in reality, having someone who can care for you especially because of your PD is, in my opinion, one essential pre-requisite. Janet, you are right, you have to follow your instincts on these things and take what the moment offers. Hollywood has us all sobbing on that theme, Mary Ann, it's nice to hear an optimistic view. You are right, PD is insidious and it will get worse and the impact on my loved ones will increase. I hope, as you imply, it will change slowly enough to allow us to adapt as we go. Audrey, yes, it will take time and it will be harder for Paula to accept until she sees some 'real' disability. Then I know she will switch into a very practical 'let's deal with this' mode. Camilla, you raise an interesting point. The mere probability that a cure may be found within a few years actually can be used as a shield to fend off the need to deal with this. Several of my friends, on hearing my situation, have said 'Ah, but they are going to cure this anyday" They want to reassure me but they are also walking away from the reality. I hope MJF can get the job done, but I remember back in the 60's, when cancer was going to be beaten any day....... we're winning, but we aren't done yet. Dick, to answer you, I have been the sole breadwinner for more than 25 years and, even if Paula was able to get work (difficult when 30% of young people are unemployed), she wouldn't get close to quarter of the salary we've been living on. So, you are correct, looking to a future which is likely to rob us of those comfortable years after the kids leave home and before retirement sets in, can be a frightening prospect. Jennifer, how I combat this 'mourning' is by developing a curiosity about what is happening. I have been catapulted into this exclusive club and I'm going to find out some weird stuff about my body, first hand. In a morbidly curious way, I'm quite looking forward to it. OK try me in ten years to see if I still feel the same, but for now, I'm about to start out on a new adventure. Judy, I certainly will be trying to introduce the subject a little more with the family. My youngest son (15) is obviously concerned. After I told him what I had, a while ago, he went straight to mom to ask if I was going to die. Now more reassured, he keeps an eye on me "Gee, your hand is shaking bad today" I guess I'm very conscious that whilst they will experience my disease with me, I don't want that they should suffer it with me..... see the difference? Well that turned out to occupy my whole lunch hour but it was probably the most productive part of the day! When MJFox opened his web site I sent him a congratulations message (he didn't reply yet) and encouraged him to remember that PD isn't constrained by geographical, economic, political or social boundaries. You guys are proving that, and from my perspective, half a world away, maybe PD isn't such a bad thing if it brings out so much good in the human spirit. We'll be talking again, I'm sure. Alf Adelaide, Australia