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Gerrit, After I read your message, I must say I feel ridiculous for having ever complained about my problems. I've been having to consider disability also. I dont face the dilema your facing though. I want to encourage you some how. I dont have the answers of course. There is a thread of hope in you. I noticed you said you had a firm belief in God. Thats very, very good, if it is the one and only true soverign God you believe in, he is able. I tried prayer long before medicine. I didnt, or havent seen one bit of improvement from either. This dosent mean God is not gonna work in my situation through a miracle of some sort. Believe me any relief would be a miracle at this point. Lately I've spent a lot of days as a christian face down. Some might say but, your a christian. Your suppose to be all smiles. God knows the truth, why lie to everyone else. I know the key is, getting back up. Dont quit! This is the encouragement I've recieved from those on this list. I pass it on to you. Keep your faith in God. Some days its all we have. It should be all I need. Your friend, Dave from Mississippi