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your first statement says it all - but i come to that from the opposite direction - my pd is not new, but my significant other is. And i use that term advisedly, because this is not my spouse - yet, or maybe never - the relationship is too new to determine that. but we are close enuuff for my sleep habits to become an issue. this is a very delicate subject, but an important one. Dealing with a new, intense relationship is a problem for anyone at my age, i should think - i am 51 and have been widowed for 6 years. I have no caregiver. and i do not want my significant other (s.o.) to think i seek this relationship merely because i need a cg.! but of course, it would be nice to have a partner who as well as loving me, would take care of me when that time of need arrives - and lately that time appears to be approaching. Is my fear of the future alone contaminating this relationship in any way, or is it the real thing? I think the latter, but how do i convince my s.o.? And how do i accept the proffered help, which i need, without it becoming the focal point of the relationship? yours, in love - and in a quandary hilary Alf Cousins wrote: > > I know caregivers must have a difficult time, finding their lives turned > upside down, especially after years of effort, but how do I deal with my > wife (I'm not modern enough to call her a 'significant other')........p