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jo ann coen i am speechless after reading your post you are the survivor of such profoundly moving events and experiences you have survived them with humour, wisdom and perspective which is available to us all what an amazing person thank you for sharing judy >From: jo ann coen <[log in to unmask]> >Reply-To: Parkinson's Information Exchange Network ><[log in to unmask]> >To: [log in to unmask] >Subject: Re: QT: system >Date: Tue, 8 Aug 2000 22:49:19 EDT > >Mary Ann - It is most intersting what you and Chuck wrote about >suicide/depression. My husband, who had his doctorate, committed >suicide. There was a tremendous amount of anger and guilt, far more than >when my first husband died of a heart attack. There is nothing more >humiliating to the ones left behind, then suicide.. Then within two >years, my 24 year old son was murdered by his best friend, who had just >been discharged from the Army on a Section 8. He had a flashback and >considered my son "the enemy" and executed him. I decided to join the >Parents of Murdered Children >group, and in fact, spoke to many of the groups in and around Houston. I >couldn't understand why i wasn't getting over it this time, like the >other two times. I blamed it on the number of deaths I went through, >also that his was my son and not my husband and >gave many excuses for not recovering. Then one night I missed a group., >and planned to be out of town the next meeting, so I didn't have to spend >14 days thinking about my speech and what i was going to contribute in >open discussion. I realized i felt better. Then it came to me, that >reliving his death, almost every hour of every day, kept it fresh in my > mind and I was reliving it day after day. I soon quit going to meetings >and in a few weeks I began to come out of it. >I still think of him almost daily, but in a different, more positive way. > I now dwell on happy, good times rather than his death itself. > >This is why I wrote Janet Paterson and asked her to cease all the talk >about suicide and depression. The more you dwell on it the >bigger it becomes. Its like chewing mule meat. Also, James Allen wrote >in his little book, "As a Man Thinketh", that whatever you think about >the most is what you attract to you (paraphrasing). > >I've gone through both suicide and depression, and I want to "Let Go and >Let God", and even though I have a delete button, I am morbidly attracted >to the postings. I thinks we should "get on with our life" and let the >past bury the past. > >Thanks for bringing this up and again, and giving me the opportunity >to vent. Best wishes, Jo Ann from Houston ________________________________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com