We need a break in the action, I hope these lighten your spirits.
The following are actual statements found on insurance
forms where drivers attempted to summarize the details of
an accident in the fewest words possible:
Coming home, I drove into wrong house and collided with a
tree I don't have.
I thought my window was down, but found it was up when I
put my head through it.
The other car collided with mine without giving warning of
its intentions.
I collided with a stationary car going the other way.
A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.
A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of
times before I hit him.
I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my
mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.
In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way
home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up
obscuring my vision, and I did not see the other car.
I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the
wheel and had an accident.
I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my
universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.
As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly appeared
in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I
was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident. To avoid
hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the
pedestrian.
My car was legally parked as it backed into the other
vehicle.
An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and
vanished.
I told the police that I was not injured, but upon removing
my hat found that I had a fractured skull.
I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other
side of the curb when I struck him.
The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to
swerve out of its way when it struck the front end. I was
thrown from the car as it left the road. I was later found
in the ditch by some stray cows.
The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a
small car with a big mouth.
The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran
over him.
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John Cottingham
