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> Subject: Vocabularity ?!?!?
>
>
> The Washington Post recently published a contest for readers in which
> they were asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. The
> following were some of the winning entries:
>
> Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
>
> Carcinoma (n.), a valley in California, notable for its heavy smog.
>
> Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
>
> Willy-nily (adj.), impotent
>
> Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained. (My
> favorite!)
>
> Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly
> answer the door in your nightie.
>
> Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
>
> Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.
>
> Bustard (n.), a very rude Metrobus driver.
>
> Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
>
> Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you
> are run over by a steamroller.
>
> Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline. (1st Runner Up!)
>
> Semantics (n.), pranks conducted by young men studying for the
> priesthood.
>
> Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist
> immediately before he examines you. (2nd Runner Up!)
>
> Marionettes (n.), residents of Washington, D.C., who have been jerked
> around by the mayor.
>
> Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish
> expressions.
>
> Frisbatarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up
> on the roof and gets stuck there.
>
> They also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it
> by adding, subtracting or changing one letter, and supply a new
> definition. Here are some recent winners:
>
> Sarchasm (n.), The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
> reader who doesn't get it.
>
> Reintarnation (n.), Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
>
> Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
> obtaining sex.
>
> Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously.
>
> Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.
>
> Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really
> bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes.
>
> Glibido: All talk and no action.
>
> Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they
> come at you rapidly.
>
> Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts
> until you realize it was your money to start with.
>
> And, best of all...Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
>
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