President Clinton finishes his time on earth and approaches the Pearly Gates
of heaven...
"And who might you be?" inquires St. Peter.
"It's me, Bill Clinton, formerly the President of
the United States and Leader of the Free World."
"Oh...Mr. President! What may I do for you?" asks St. Peter. "I'd like to
come in," replies Clinton.
"Sure," says the Saint. "But first you have to
confess your sins. What bad things have you done in your life?"
Clinton bites his lip and answers, "Well, I tried
marijuana, but you can't call it 'dope-smoking' because I didn't inhale.
There were inappropriate extramarital relationships, but you can't call
it'adultery' because I didn't have full 'sexual relations.' And I made some
statements that were misleading, but legally accurate, but you can't call it
'bearing false witness' because, as far as I know, it didn't meet the legal
standard of perjury."
With that St. Peter consults the Book of Life
briefly, and declares,"OK, here's the deal. We'll send you somewhere hot,
but we won't call it 'Hell.'
You'll be there indefinitely, but we won't call it
'eternity.' And when you enter, you don't have to 'abandon all hope,'just
hold your breath and wait for it to freeze over."
