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Dear Hilary and friends, You have said exactly what I feel, Why should I be put away in a female-dominated residence at age 50? And what about this: the average age of the local nursing home is 88.8! I am not a war veteran-always was and will be opposed to war. So no "veterans home" would accept me, thank you. Plus, my own HOUSE is a fully acceptable place to live. Ivan :-) 50/39/36 On Tue, 22 Aug 2000 20:21:24 -0400 Hilary Blue <[log in to unmask]> writes: > i think that those homes you are talking about sound wonderful - when > you are > 80 years old. > but i have no interest in getting my hair dyed blue and set on > rollers every > week. nor do i have the family to come visit me and to make sure i > am being > well cared for. > i do have a home health aide who works part time in one of the > better nursing > homes in the area, > and she came to me the other day , very upset, because she did not > know who to > turn to;. > on the one hand , she was afraid to lose her job, on the other she > felt it > was her duty as a religious, caring woman, to report to "somebody" > how the > patients were being mistreated. in little subtle ways. like baling > scolded and > shamed in front of other residents for accidents of urinary > incontinence - and > left in wet clothes for hours. And many other incidents that an old > lady would > be ashamed to report to her family... > so on these two grounds - age incompatibility, and small scale > maltreatment of > patients - i think that i am not ready for that kind of life - not > yet. maybe > when i am 80 i will feel differently about it. > > hilary blue > 51,33,24 > > Leo Fuhr wrote: > > > > Like Nita, our family placed my mom in a nursing home in July. We > had been > > researching and checking on the homes in the area and the one we > chose is > > an excellent facility and mom is doing very well there. s of the > home. > > > > Checking out facilities, visiting often, asking questions of > present > > residents and their families, asking questions of the > administrators, the > > nursing staff and the other staff is important. Praising the > things/people > > who are doing a good job is a good way to guarantee the right > treatment of > > your family member. Complaining about poor care is also necessary > and > > should be taken to the charge nurse, housekeeping, etc. > > > > > > ---------- > > As it turned out, she was happier and less afraid there. She > > too had hallucinations, though she did not have PD. I never > > in my live did anything better for her. There were many > > people there some in reasonably good shape and some not. The > > thing that seems most important now was the companionship > > and entertainment she had there. It was good for her to > > have company and something to do. I thought I would just > > throw this in the discussion , because it worked out better > > than I expected. I think it was the research I did that > > helped. > > > > Nita Andres > > CG David ^^^^^^ WARM GREETINGS FROM ^^^^^^^^^^^^ :-) Ivan Suzman 50/39/36 [log in to unmask] :-) Portland, Maine land of lighthouses deg. F :-) ********************************************************************