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db i can only imagine the kind of awareness that causes someone to see the world thru bleak blinders who anticipates cruelty, predatory behaviour, deliberate sabotage at every turn my tiny experience of abuse at age 4 and threat of repetition over 8 years left me with a kind of constant hyper-vigilance which gives me (now that i can actually talk about the whole thing) a sensitivity to similar awareness in others in their eyes the world is full of danger any joy out there is a fake, a lure, a dirty trick much safer to lash out first than to risk being made to look a fool my heart aches at such pain and i feel helpless to deal with it any attempt on my part can only be perceived as pity and swatted away kindness and empathy are for fools but what if we are all not fools at all not one of us? what if we have all been fooling ourselves as to our vulnerability? how do we change the vision from bleak to clear? remove the blindfold here, i'll help simple jp janet paterson 53 now / 44 dx cd / 43 onset cd / 41 dx pd / 37 onset pd tel: 613 256 8340 url: "http://www.geocities.com/janet313/" email: [log in to unmask] smail: POBox 171 Almonte Ontario K0A 1A0 Canada