musing on abandonment on guilt on hurt on substitutes on projections my mother abandoned me by disappearing into cd i could see her and touch her but she was not there i hated her for it she was guilty of a crime and i was guilty of a crime for hating her for it i became the ultra-sensitive ultra-caring ultra-responsive opposite in spite and in self-righteous example till i tasted some of her experience and pain when i melted in forgiveness of her and of me and of us all joshua's innocence and sweetness is in all of us still and always unassailable http://www.geocities.com/janet313/janet/jpegs/joshua1.jpg grannie jannie in gratitude and grins janet paterson 53 now / 44 dx cd / 43 onset cd / 41 dx pd / 37 onset pd tel: 613 256 8340 url: "http://www.geocities.com/janet313/" email: [log in to unmask] smail: POBox 171 Almonte Ontario K0A 1A0 Canada