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Hilary, My heart goes out to you. I know only too well what kind of nightmare you are probably experiencing. Having worked in Foster Care agencies, and for the state I have seen lunacy beyond words. Have you tried getting your daughter into a private Foster Care agency? I think you mentioned going to a synagogue once, is there a Jewish agency near by? My experience is that if an agency, birth parent & Foster Child request to become a part of their program, the state usually goes along. The ground rules and hoops one has to jump through seem to change from week to week. It is so demoralizing trying to hit a moving target. A case worker in a private agency should have the pull to make a "reunification" plan stick. It's a lot easier to play by the rules when the rules don't change day by day. You take care, David Meigs [log in to unmask] ----- Original Message ----- From: "Hilary Blue" <[log in to unmask]> To: <[log in to unmask]> Sent: Tuesday, September 19, 2000 10:53 AM Subject: the end of the road > dear ivan, > and any other interested list members > > i have just received a letter from my lawyer. in it he states " it will be > very difficult to have a plan other than permanent foster care approved given > the timeframe in which Jessica has been in a return to home plan" > in other words > our time has run out. > we have tried to keep the options open > for jessica (my youngest daughter) to return home, > but virginia law > just doesn't allow the possibility. > She has been in limbo for too long. > she is in an after school program > which is only available to kids in foster care, > nobody can explain why this is so, > it would make far more sense > if she went to school > from my house in the morning, > then to this program, > and then came home in the evening. > But no , to be in compliance with me regulation or other. > she has to stay in a foster home, > with a family of a different religion, > a mother who is older than me > and quite preoccupied with her menopause. > And she is only allowed to see me > every other weekend, > Thank heavens for small mercies - > this has just been extended to the whole weekend. > So what can i do > but breathe a deep sigh of regret and resignation > and thank all those who have helped me fight > and learn to accept that > my daughter's teenage years > will be spent with somebody else's mother > except for every other weekend.