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Rick, hang in there brother. I went through it myself 18 years ago. No PD then though, but it was still very, very unfair. I felt like a mouse that the cat caught, chewed almost to death - released .... allowed to run a few feet and the.. BAM! Back into the jaws of death. This continued until she got a new ex to torture. Then it was like I was a long lost friend. I know what it can do to you on the inside. I hope you have good people around you. You take care, David Meigs [log in to unmask] ----- Original Message ----- From: "Rick Barrett" <[log in to unmask]> To: <[log in to unmask]> Sent: Saturday, September 23, 2000 12:02 PM Subject: PD, Divorce, and child custody > Hi folk, > > I am a 38 year old man with PD (dx at 31). My wife of 11 years decided to > divorce me and began those proceedings about 16 months ago. We have two kids > - a boy, age 6, and a girl, 20 months. > > I am over the bitterness of my wife wanting to divorce me, but she insists > upon taking the children away too. Her approach has been to use my PD > against me. It would be one thing if I was a danger to the children, but I > am still functioning quite well. I have only recently retired from my job. I > live along and manage quite well. My kids get to visit me every other > weekend and two evenings each week. I have taken them camping, fishing, to > children's parties and participate in school functions etc. I enjoy being > "Mr. Mom." However, sometimes I don't feel well enough to drive or do fine > motor skill tasks like sewing an arm back on a stuffed animal. I explain to > my 5 year old "sometimes daddy is a slow-poke, but I will get to job done." > > Unfortunately, my soon-to-be ex-wife has seized on my condition and was > successful in getting a judge to rule that I should not be allowed drive > with the kids in the car. I tried to explain to the judge that it is because > I know when I should not drive that makes me a safe driver. My doctors agree > that the only restrictions that should be placed on my driving are those > that I place on myself. I have never had a ticket nor been involve in an > accident. Nevertheless, I lost that battle. As it stands now I can drive > across the country (I recently returned from a roadtrip vacation of the > western US), but I cannot drive the kids 10 blocks to get an ice-cream or > replenish the diaper supply. It feels like I am under "house arrest." > > If that were the end of it I would "deal with it" and get on with things, > but now my ex is claiming that she worries about the safety of the children > when they are with me. While there is no justification to this, I am > concerned that I cannot keep up the fight indefinitely. As of last week my > ex-wife's legal fees were in excess of $67,000! > > My situation (disabled father, seeking visitation / custody with minor > children) seems to not only allow discrimination but invites it. I want to > spend as much time as possible with my children while I am still strong. > > A few questions... > > Is there anyone else in a similar situation? > > How does one convince a court or anyone else that as a PWP that I can manage > my illness and that just because there are times when I refuse to drive > should not infer that I cannot drive? > > Are there any advocacy groups out there who might be helpful? > > Any advice would be appreciated. > > Thank you, > > Rick Barrett