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----- Original Message ----- From: LISA CRUMRINE <[log in to unmask]> To: Bernard Shaw <[log in to unmask]> Sent: Monday, September 25, 2000 6:57 AM Subject: alone-ness hi Bernard, I have enjoyed your writing for some time, I am sorry you are feeling so alone. I have been experiencing similar feelings lately. I am blessed in that I can still get around on my own pretty much but most days I am home all day and don't see another soul unless I venture into town to get my mail or some groceries. Lately people have been saying things to me like "whets the matter with your arm? " or "what are you having a seizure?" Sometimes I explain sometimes I mumble something and scurry back to the safety of my home. Luckily I am an artist and I work at home during the summers. I dread having to re-open my gallery because then I will be back in public again. I don't notice my "stuff" when I am alone, and it's easier to deal with when I am not self conscious. Luckily I am still pretty able to make my art work. slower now but so is everything else. anyways my point is that you are not alone, you have your wife . I am single 42yrs old, and finding myself isolating myself like this makes me nervous about my future....and what is to come. hey you can always call the flower shop and have them deliver... just some ponderings Lisa in Paradise 42/8yrs w/pd ----- Original Message ----- From: Bernard Shaw <[log in to unmask]> To: <[log in to unmask]> Sent: Monday, September 25, 2000 3:02 AM Subject: Re Loneliness > Thank you to all of you that wrote about loneliness. I have taken notice of > all of the suggestions that have been made.I will try to get about more but > there is always the fear of a block or freeze. My Wife knows what to do and > we make no big thing of it. It is when strangers try to be helpful and pull > me. I usually loose my balance completely and there is a fall. I would love > to be able to go out on my own even if it just down to a flower shop. My > wife loves flowers but if she is with me I cannot surprise her. It is the > same with Birthdays or Wedding anniversaries there is no surprise any more. > This little thing is for me a huge factor in my depressive phases. I do not > swear as a rule but sometimes this Parkinson's makes me want to pull out all > of the stops and use the Ancient Anglo Saxon words that have helped make the > English language what it is. It is the tiny things that a healthy person > does not think about, a card, posting a letter.Going to the local store to > buy a bunch of grapes. I have to leave it all to the wife and as for sport > or swimming; try finding a swim bath with the water at the right temperature > and steps with rails going down into the water. Getting in is no problem I > just fall in but after a couple of lengths of the baths I am exhausted and > can not pull myself out of the swimming bath or pool. I had all of the helps > built in when we took over the apartment, indoors it is not too bad but > where are those long walks where I crawled around some of our mountains. The > long cool beer after a foot march of say ten miles. All for fun, "no must," > just the joy of living. So sorry to bother you all with my troubles when I > know you all have the same problems or similar. God Bless you all > Bern...............Peace >