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how true and it happens to you,,, me too... i know that game so very well symptoms not the same but i can tell the same old story you dont even realise you're feeling good you're just feeling the way you should - and then, WHOOM, BANG CRASH your world's disintegrating you've been a bit rash you knew what was out there waiting - as you push that shopping cart through miles of aisles at walmart hoping you'll make it to the cashier looks like you're going to have to dash here my meds take longer before they kick in if i miss one dose i take a severe licking it may be several hours and more than one dose before i will feel able to continue or even come close. it seems a great deal of my time is spent planning each dose waiting for the meds to begin to work. Then barely have i reached a point of equililbriun than my body starts to jerk - dyskinesia sets in. i dont know which is worse a body that freezes and wont respond or the non stop jerking while your limbs are wagging -- there's no sign of them, flagging - michael j =- if you're lurking just thought you might like to know - my new perception i'm already dancing at your children's wedding reception! hilary blue 10/9/00 bob armentrout wrote: > > When the meds wear off > > First I feel uneasy > like a hurricane is brewing off the horizon > or that I know there is something wrong > that I can't put my finger on > > then begins the game of Russian roulette > what body part is going to quit working this time? > Usually it's my right hand, which is the first betrayer, > curling up, and strumming my shoulder > > but sometimes it's the right leg > foot curling up and in > legs bouncing around > like fish on dry land > > I notice my right eye won't open > and my mouth doesn't work > mumbles come out instead of words > and saliva builds up, > to drool down my chin like I'm 1 or 100 > > as my body slowly freezes > my mind comes alive > screaming fight or flight warnings > to a body whose forgotten survival instincts > even older than consciousness > > as the mind yammers and stammers its warning > the body goes quietly numb > and I silently wonder > how could I be so dumb > > after two years of this shit > you would think I would learn > take your meds on time > or this is what you become > > but when the meds are working > I feel so much like me > not this shaking drooling idiot > that's all the world can see > > and when I take the meds > in 15 min, 30 tops > the mask that hides the real me > back in place does drop > > but sometimes I sit and wonder > what part of my body has quit working > that the meds hide from me > and where will my mind go > when the meds can no longer set me free > > bob armentrout copyright 2000 > _________________________________________________________________________ > Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com. > > Share information about yourself, create your own public profile at > http://profiles.msn.com.