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please remove me from your maling list [log in to unmask] -----Original Message----- From: bob armentrout <[log in to unmask]> To: [log in to unmask] <[log in to unmask]> Date: Sunday, October 08, 2000 7:58 PM Subject: non pd:A poem about my day >When the meds wear off > >First I feel uneasy >like a hurricane is brewing off the horizon >or that I know there is something wrong >that I can't put my finger on > >then begins the game of Russian roulette >what body part is going to quit working this time? >Usually it's my right hand, which is the first betrayer, >curling up, and strumming my shoulder > >but sometimes it's the right leg >foot curling up and in >legs bouncing around >like fish on dry land > >I notice my right eye won't open >and my mouth doesn't work >mumbles come out instead of words >and saliva builds up, >to drool down my chin like I'm 1 or 100 > >as my body slowly freezes >my mind comes alive >screaming fight or flight warnings >to a body whose forgotten survival instincts >even older than consciousness > >as the mind yammers and stammers its warning >the body goes quietly numb >and I silently wonder >how could I be so dumb > >after two years of this shit >you would think I would learn >take your meds on time >or this is what you become > >but when the meds are working >I feel so much like me >not this shaking drooling idiot >that's all the world can see > >and when I take the meds >in 15 min, 30 tops >the mask that hides the real me >back in place does drop > >but sometimes I sit and wonder >what part of my body has quit working >that the meds hide from me >and where will my mind go >when the meds can no longer set me free > >bob armentrout copyright 2000 >_________________________________________________________________________ >Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com. > >Share information about yourself, create your own public profile at >http://profiles.msn.com.