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SILENCE SCREAMING I sit in silence. Listening to the sound of snow flakes crashing to the ground And quiet memories of yesterday, screaming in my mind An accidently reading of an old doctor's report, mentioning in passing, telling of more loss than I had known. Today I found out I was almost a father and today I found out, that once again, I've outlived my child there is something perverse about knowing you live, while your dreams of a better, different future lie quiet and dead In this case, not even buried, but just discarded some would argue that tissue isn't alive or beings have to breath air to be live but in the deafening sounds of silence definitions lose all meanings and others opinions of the origin of life are unimportant next to the tears you cry for the might of beens, or what if's and you know you shouldn't go there, it's only going to hurt, but you whisper to yourself I wonder if she would have had my eyes, or what color was her hair. They say kids are god's gift to mortals, and they are only here for awhile as angels sent to earth I sit and listen to snow falling and wonder why God would want to send me an angel, again, and change his mind, again. In my mind, I know that this is by far, for the best There are so many good reasons not to have a baby but if I know this so easily, then why does reading an old doctor's report from a year ago, a lifetime ago about an incidentle damage report cause my heart to weap so hard? So I sit, listening to snowflakes, crashing to the ground and quiet memories of yesterday screaming in my mind. bob armentrout copyright 2000 _________________________________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com. Share information about yourself, create your own public profile at http://profiles.msn.com.