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cross-posted from another pd forum: >posted November 24, 2000 03:06 AM by LL: > >dear janet, you are an excellent writer, you write from >your heart...I love how the foist and thoid voices had a >cute accent, I am glad you posted your age..you inspired >me..and gave me hope..dxd with severe depression this past >summer ... thank you so much for those kind words! i may appear to write from the heart but from my point of view, i write from my fingertips - most of the time i barely know what's going to come out of them! but i do feel strongly about needless pain and suffering [meaning all of it] i just don't believe that we are here for that you know what is the most miraculous thing about your message? "i was diagnosed" count your blessings!!! you are more than halfway through your battle!!! >one question? why do they handcuff suicide attempt victims and >put them in a police car.. to take us to a mental health care >facility?, (I realize it is illegal to take your own life..) >but this doesnt help..it adds insult to injury... i presume it is simply a general 'policy' [yikes "police" and "policy"!] since there must be many instances where they have to deal with people who are drug overdosed and out of control, etc. the police officers have to maintain safety of all as a primary concern i don't know that it is illegal to commit suicide? in the usa? in canada? what a bizarre idea! what's the "punishment" if someone is "successful"? what's the "punishment" if someone is "unsuccessful"? this smacks of the whole stigma problem sticking to suicide [yikes i'm getting alliterate!] suicide is illegal suicide is sinful suicide is crazy people suicide is shameful balderdash i say suicide is covered head to toe in sticky cobwebs from being jammed in the back of the closet for way too long suicide is extreme emotions which are also in the same distraught and distorted condition don't talk about how we really feel make nice if one feels extremely happy sure go ahead and show the world but if one feels extremely unhappy don't dare show your glum face around here why? when we need help and comfort the most? so many of us are conditioned to fear emotions but sharing only makes us stronger it weakens no one >I still have nightmares about it my 96 hour stay... ALSO the >ER doctor was very hateful as well, she told me she hoped that >I suffered, she said this (while I was vomitting a drink made >of coal, it was black..) and also she wanted me to appologize >to the person who had to clean up the mess..my only thought >at the time was, I wish she would have been brave enough to say >this to me with my lawyer present... i think those reactions are all part of the stigma i'm talking about and it's pervasive, ain't it? reminds me of that heartwarming and compassionate technique of training puppies "how they should behave" by rubbing their noses in their own waste; talk about negative reinforcement! your nightmares are probably tainted with the same stigma it's real sticky stuff but making mistakes is the only way any of us learn [however, there are kind and unkind ways of pointing out mistakes] we are here to judge no one else and no one else is either we each have our own work to do once i realize that others' "misdeeds" "against" me are simply their mistakes too [we are all human are we not?] i can let go of some of the resentment against them bit by bit i need to do that before i can move forward with learning my own tasks effectively perception is the key the glass is half full and hold promise [in our eyes] or the glass is half empty and holds deprivation [in our eyes] cd is an extremely negative version of the latter but is biochemically caused and is biochemically curable how are you doing now? have you taken the beck depression inventory? it's a wonderful way to keep track of your progress >thank you soooooooo much.. love LL thank you for your message - it inspired mine! much love janet janet paterson, an akinetic rigid subtype parkie 53 now /44 dx cd / 43 onset cd /41 dx pd / 37 onset pd TEL: 613 256 8340 SMAIL: POBox 171 Almonte Ontario K0A 1A0 Canada EMAIL: [log in to unmask] URL: http://www.geocities.com/janet313/