hi all heck i thought i knew what sexism was and here i am guilty of it myself domestic violence is a contradiction in terms violence against another is violence period janet -------------------------------------------------- i'm guilty ... of sexism and i didn't realize it till now this instant if you were a good friend of mine, which you are, but female, which you are not, and if you had confided in me your repeated experience of 'the punch bowl effect' i would have emphatically said to you long before now: "you don't have to put up with that, you don't 'deserve' it, no one 'deserves' it you are not a wimp you are not a weakling you are not unworthy of better" and "anyone who perpetrates it is acting out their self hatred on the handiest and least resistant target you are not the cause of it" and "the perp needs to be stopped equally as much as you need it to be stopped" and "the perp is ill and is committing a crime" and "you are not ill you are not aiding and abetting a crime you are its victim and you have every right in the world to your own personal safety and well-being" and "there is no shame in being a victim there is no shame in having a crime committed against you" and "your self esteem has been damaged by such chronic behaviour and you may not be able to extricate yourself on your own but extricate yourself you must" so, why in hell would i not say the same thing to a dear friend who just happened to be male? i will be asking myself that over the next little while but here is my love and concern for you winging its way baggage free i hope jm -------------------------------------------------- janet paterson, an akinetic rigid subtype parkie 53 now /44 dx cd / 43 onset cd /41 dx pd / 37 onset pd TEL: 613 256 8340 SMAIL: POBox 171 Almonte Ontario K0A 1A0 Canada EMAIL: [log in to unmask] URL: http://www.geocities.com/janet313/