Dear, dear Sandy:
I thought I wept my quota for this month, but I guess that was for November.
Again, I feel totally helpless to ease your pain as I wish so fervently. I
have
lost much fervor since Barbara's gone but I have promised myself to honor
her memory to keep on fighting for all you beautiful PWP out there, or at
least
most of you. Humor had been my major weapon against the vagaries of life
since before the Holocaust days, but even that has lost some of its efficacy
and my steps have lost much of its spring, and I am tired.
Sandy, I feel so helpless when I hear your cries, but my hand is out
there...
just grab it and I will hold it tight.
Much love, hugs, and kisses...they have helped ME tremendously.
-- Michel Margosis
'Carpe Diem'
----- Original Message -----
From: "Sandra Norris" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Monday, December 04, 2000 1:15 AM
Subject: IN HONOR OF YOU!
> Hello My plwp family,
>
> I had a visit from my mother today. My mother and dad are really special
> people and I love them dearly. My Mama and I had a really good visit. I
> had taken my laundry over to my parents yesterday. I came home before I
> finished all of my laundry. Just like a loving and caring mother would
do,
> Mama finished my laundry and brought it by my place today. I asked her
not
> to do it; but she did it anyway. Besides God and plwp, my parents are my
> caregivers. One small sentence that my Mama spoke to me today had such a
> powerful effect on me. Mama spoke, "Sandra I want to apologize for not
> getting over to visit you anymore than I have since you have moved into
> Conover." Of course I just looked at her with such love and told her "It's
> okay Mama." We had ourselves a good Mama and daughter visit. She could
> tell by looking at me that I was dealing with some pain. She did not harp
> or fret. We just held hands. When she left today I made my way toward
the
> washroom for my third hot bath today. After running my tub with the
hottest
> water that I could stand, I lowered myself into the tub. I still had not
> realized how much my Mama's one sentence had effected me. When the warmth
> from the water began to ease and lift some of the pain, it was as if God
had
> reached down Himself and took me into his arms and gently tried to soothe
my
> hurts and pain. I began to cry. Then I began to weep.
>
> You see; my Mama and Daddy are in their retirement years. It is now in my
> life as their child that our roles should be reversing. I should be
taking
> care of Mama and Daddy. I have a brother that has had Muscular Dystrophy
> since birth. He is still able to work full time and does not use a
> wheelchair. He also has a recycling business as a second job. My parents
> have been caregivers for as long as me and my brother have lived. When
will
> it be "their time"? For over twenty years now my parents have taken each
pd
> step with me. Before a diagnosis came they dressed me and bathed me and
fed
> me. Knowing Daddy's little girl was a woman now, I remember Mom and Dad
> holding me on the commode because the pd tremor was bilaterally severe
> enough that I had a risk of falling and hurting myself. Daddy would
simply
> shut his eyes and turn his head so I could have the dignity of some
privacy.
> Sometimes he would not get his head turned quickly enough to avoid my
seeing
> the tears that he would shed over my suffering. As I sit here so moved to
> tears by the memories of their undying, ongoing, unselfish love and care,
I
> want to scream!
>
> WHEN WILL IT BE MAMA AND DADDY'S TURN!!!!!WHEN WILL IT BE OUR CAREGIVERS'
> TURN?
>
> Will I ever have the chance to show them my undying graditude. Will they
> ever be able to have the peace of mind of knowing that their baby girl
will
> be okay? when next month comes around will they still have to ask if I
need
> help with my medicines. When will it be their turn?
>
> My plwp family....since thursday of this week you know several of us have
> been working on letters to send to our State's Representatives. I did not
> do this for myself. When I was in the bathtub tonight weeping, I was
crying
> out to God asking Him to open all the ears and eyes on Capitol Hill. I
will
> be sending faxes and making phone calls on both Monday and Tuesday
> inundating my Senators and their staff members with MY LOUD VOICE...
>
> I will not be doing this for myself. I do this to honor my parents and
all
> plwps and caregivers worldwide. Without God and You my day would be
> impossible to live. I choose to live this life. I mad as hell...and I am
> not gonna take it anymore!!!
>
> Much love and hope,
> Sandy
> Sandy Norris 40/28/20 check my new site..
> www.plwp.org/sandys_parkie_porch.htm
> "Faith is the daring of the soul to go farther than it can see."
>
