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Nancy, I have been reading your postings for some time but today's made me stop and think about how you must feel as one who is a pwp-- especially one who is younger. I can only imagine how other people who may be obtuse or self serving must affect you. It isnt that you do not care nor have concerns for others who are facing the same things that you may be facing, or have already faced, it is that sometimes it must be more than you can accept. I use that word only as a word to describe how difficult it must be to stay positive knowing no one is able to help that much no matter how much they care. You may know that I have no real contact with my pwp, and it is true that I have not experienced anything as all of you are, and especially those who are young onset pwps. I have to guess what it must be like to face an illness that affects not only your life but others that are part of your life as well. I think so often since I met my pwp, and later others on the list, that most of us take our lives for granted. Our health we complain about to anyone who will listen and yet do we celebrate our good fortune? Usually we are too busy living the lives we have to stop long enough to even appreciate the moment we are in. For you and all of you that I call my friends or know by their words, I admire you no matter if you have cranky moments or show anger at your cirumstances. If anyone deserves to express all of this you all do; your feelings should be validated. I think how hard it must be to be ill, in pain, feeling isolated, and knowing that in many ways you are alone in this. I think we who are not a pwp try either to pretend it will be alright at some magic moment in the future, or live with the fear buried deeply inside afraid to discuss it or face it most likely. But it is you who guide your loved ones to acceptance and it is you who put the lie to all of the platitudes that well meaning friends or relatives may offer as solace. To be able to say this is my life and this is my situation not yours is your right. And is there a real solution to everything ? I dont think so and I am sure you would say NO there isnt ... Thanks for listening to me and my own soap box Nancy.. *seattle* Audrey friend of Aussie John 49/42/38? * seattle* audrey