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The Rules on Christmas Cracker Usage and Deployment
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1. All Crackers to be distributed and displayed elegantly as
part of the celebratory dinner table place settings
2. Poppin Crackers takes place after y'all sit down and afore
any food appears;
sounds like 'keep the hungry animules amused' but no;
Even the Cooks Have to Sit Down and Participate at The Same
Time
3. You Have to share poppin repsonsibilities with a next door
neighbour at the table;
No Cheatin by pullin the Snap directly;
you have to prove your Skill and your Strength by holdin the
Cracker at the pinched spot reeeeeeel tight and then pullin
against your neighbour;
any flying debris to be returned to appropriate Cracker owner
forthwith
4. You Have to remember which Cracker is yours;
you Have to wear the Hat;
No Cheatin;
No Whinin about colours or fit
(most groups include at least one individual skilled at
custom paper Hat fittage)
5. You all Have to take turns readin the Mottos out loud;
no, i don't know why they're called Mottos;
Just Do It;
there should be a respectful silence from the cheap seats
while each Motto is read or at least until the last syllable
is uttered
6. You Have to demonstrate your Novelty to everyone else to the
best of your ability;
no, i don't know why they're called Novelties;
Just Do It;
others are to display proper respect and admiration during
such demonstrations
7. Hats are to remain in place throughout dinner;
No Exceptions;
No Cheatin;
No Whinin;
Just Do It
8. Bartering in re Novelties and their ownership is permitted
only if carried out with suitable decorum
9. If, and only if, the above rules are followed properly,
instruction may be allowed,
if, and only if, suitable instructors are available,
in How To Hang a Teaspoon From One's Nose
janet (jannie magnolia) paterson
1999/12/21
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http://www.geocities.com/janet313/wordsoth/1999/19991220.html
janet paterson, an akinetic rigid subtype parkie
53 now /44 dx cd / 43 onset cd /41 dx pd / 37 onset pd
TEL: 613 256 8340 SMAIL: POBox 171 Almonte Ontario K0A 1A0 Canada
EMAIL: [log in to unmask] URL: http://www.geocities.com/janet313/
