It is because you disagreed with what was happening to you and you wanted to fight. This hearing is the forum that is available to you to try to get what you want. Your lawyer can tell you if you have an alternative means of getting what you want without having to go through the rest of the hearing. If you continue with the hearing, you have some time, and you can get prepared emotionally for court and for your examination. What you are doing is not easy, but it can be made much easier on you if you are ready, if you are prepared, not just for the examination, but also for your personal, emotional reaction to what is happening to you. I don't know if you are interested but I used to be a trial attorney and I might be able to help you with your reaction to this hearing. I can't and I won't give you legal advice, and you would need to get permission from your attorney for me to talk to you about this. Whatever you decide to do, I wish you well and I hope you get what you want.