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hey sandy! I understand the pain. OK. now...u know it is ok to cry or laugh. Please .Are u stretching?? Try water to stretch in. If u can not get to a pool, then stretch while u are sitting. Play some music Try aleve?? Love, nancy /cleveland Sandra Norris wrote: > > The Tug-of-War is on. I am finding myself pushing and pulling at my emotions > today. Or should I say that the Pd is doing the pushing and the pulling. > Tonight and to be honest, most of the day I have been in a battle of wills. > The overwhelming pain this evening is trying to get me to succumb to > self-pity. The Spirit that lives within me is rising up and reaching out for > the strength to triumph in this fight for self-preservation. Pain can be a > wicked thing. A dark, black place, that wishes to consume my will, my mind. > I am struggling to preserve my mental strength. I am struggling to preserve > the healthiness that still resides in my body. I will not relinquish my > fortitude. Self-pity can be just as wicked as pain. As the tears, the > healing tears flow again this evening, I will make the active choice to > think of more positive thoughts. Being involved with other plwps helps. > Identifying with your pain and anguish strengthens my compassion for others. > This suffering, this pain, acts as a nutrient, a fertilizer, to enable the > compassion to well up within me in eagerness to pour forth a kinship that > can relate without even speaking words aloud. Courage can be born from > adversity. It can only benefit the soul to strive to see the beauty in this > ugly war. Beauty in pain? Beauty in crying aloud? Beauty in my body being > twisted with dyskinesia? When I am suffering the most, it is then that God > brings to me the thought of a beautiful field of flowers, the vision of the > way the sun sets on the ocean. When I cry out in pain, it is then that God > speaks to my heart saying, "I am here my child; you are not alone." When I > feel the dyskinesia is at its ugliest, I am reminded that it is not our > outward appearance that touches the heart of God. What is important is what > the pain causes to pour forth from my heart. I heard on the national news of > a "miracle baby" in Kentucky. A pregnant woman was involved in a violent > automobile accident. Her unborn child was literally ripped from her body > with the umbilical chord intact. The baby is still alive. Imagine that > mother's pain. God allowed her pain to be transformed into the beauty of > life. I wish to leave you with the admiration in my heart and compassion in > my heart for all of you. I admire each one of you that are still putting one > foot in front of the other. I admire each one of you that reach out; because > it is in the reaching out that makes us strong. It takes more strength and > courage to reach toward something or someone instead of sitting idle in > self-pity. When your tears fall may they be caught by the hand of a loving > friend and put into a well that a rainbow can be seen over. Much love and > hope....Sandy