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Dear Edith,
After reading this, I took the liberty of placing your name on my Clean Humor list (I do have others) for I am also Humor editor of our local PD monthly bulletin.

Hugs and kisses to a LOVEly lady,

-- Michel Margosis
      'Carpe Diem'


  ----- Original Message ----- 
  From: Edith S. Love 
  To: [log in to unmask] 
  Sent: Friday, December 22, 2000 5:45 PM
  Subject: Re: funny classified ads


    The Following Were Actually Taken From Classified Ads In Newspapers
    thought these good for a chuckle---

    FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
    8 YEARS OLD. HATEFUL LITTLE DOG.
    ----------------------------------
    FREE PUPPIES:
    ½ COCKER SPANIEL
    ½ SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG
    ------------------------------
    FREE PUPPIES...
    PART GERMAN SHEPHERD PART STUPID DOG
    ------------------------------
    FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. LOOKS LIKE A RAT...
    BEEN OUT AWHILE.. BETTER BE REWARD.
    = -----------------------------------
    1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850/offer
    ----------------------------
    SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE...
    ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.
    -------------------------------
    2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES:
    1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR: $15
    ------------------------------
    FULL SIZED MATTRESS.
    20 YR. WARRANTY.
    LIKE NEW. SLIGHT URINE SMELL.
    -----------------------------------
    NORDIC TRACK $300 HARDLY USED, CALL CHUBBY
    -------------------------------------
    BILL'S SEPTIC CLEANING
    "WE HAUL AMERICAN MADE PRODUCTS"
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------
    HUMMELS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER
    "IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!"
    ----------------------------------------
    HARRISBURG POSTAL EMPLOYEES GUN CLUB
    -----------------------------------------
    GEORGIA PEACHES CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb.
    ------------------------------------------
    NICE PARACHUTE: NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE
    -------------------------------------------
    TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR?
    WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND FLEXIBLE HOURS.
    STARTING PAY: $7 - $9 PER HOUR.
    ---------------------------------------------
    EXERCISE EQUIPMENT: QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS & BOX SPRINGS - $175.
    ---------------------------------------------
    ALZHEIMER'S CENTRE PREPARES FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER
    -------------------------------------------
    OPEN HOUSE
    BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON
    FREE COFFEE & DONUTS
    ---------------------------------------
    AND THE BEST ONE

    FOR SALE BY OWNER
    Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition.
    $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend.
    Wife knows everything.


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