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Edith, these are  delightful.

Lanny

----- Original Message ----- 
From: Edith S. Love 
To: [log in to unmask] 
Sent: Friday, December 22, 2000 4:45 PM
Subject: Re: funny classified ads


  The Following Were Actually Taken From Classified Ads In Newspapers
  thought these good for a chuckle---

  FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
  8 YEARS OLD. HATEFUL LITTLE DOG.
  ----------------------------------
  FREE PUPPIES:
  ½ COCKER SPANIEL
  ½ SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG
  ------------------------------
  FREE PUPPIES...
  PART GERMAN SHEPHERD PART STUPID DOG
  ------------------------------
  FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. LOOKS LIKE A RAT...
  BEEN OUT AWHILE.. BETTER BE REWARD.
  = -----------------------------------
  1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850/offer
  ----------------------------
  SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE...
  ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.
  -------------------------------
  2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES:
  1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR: $15
  ------------------------------
  FULL SIZED MATTRESS.
  20 YR. WARRANTY.
  LIKE NEW. SLIGHT URINE SMELL.
  -----------------------------------
  NORDIC TRACK $300 HARDLY USED, CALL CHUBBY
  -------------------------------------
  BILL'S SEPTIC CLEANING
  "WE HAUL AMERICAN MADE PRODUCTS"
  ---------------------------------------------------------------------
  HUMMELS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER
  "IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!"
  ----------------------------------------
  HARRISBURG POSTAL EMPLOYEES GUN CLUB
  -----------------------------------------
  GEORGIA PEACHES CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb.
  ------------------------------------------
  NICE PARACHUTE: NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE
  -------------------------------------------
  TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR?
  WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND FLEXIBLE HOURS.
  STARTING PAY: $7 - $9 PER HOUR.
  ---------------------------------------------
  EXERCISE EQUIPMENT: QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS & BOX SPRINGS - $175.
  ---------------------------------------------
  ALZHEIMER'S CENTRE PREPARES FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER
  -------------------------------------------
  OPEN HOUSE
  BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON
  FREE COFFEE & DONUTS
  ---------------------------------------
  AND THE BEST ONE

  FOR SALE BY OWNER
  Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition.
  $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend.
  Wife knows everything.


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