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Bob, THANKS Ivan On Thu, 28 Dec 2000 08:15:32 -0500 Bob Anibal <[log in to unmask]> writes: > No disrespect intended, please. This is from Jewish joke of the day > and I > just couldn't resist it. > Bob Anibal > > -"'Twas the night before Chanukah..." > > 'Twas the night before Chanukah, as it is said > And Santa was sitting and hocking his head > He had all the toys wrapped up nice in his zeckel > For maidlach and boys to give each one a peckel > The reindeer were saddled and ready to fly > Like a crew of brave astronauts all through the sky > But Santa was starving to eat a good meichel > Some regular food that would stick to his beichel > Not plum cakes or mincemeat or peppermint candy > But some kosher cooking he thought would be dandy > So he called to his reindeer, "Hey, kinder, let's go > To a Jewish balbusta and don't be so slow." > The house had no chimney, so he went through the door > And kissed the mezzuzah and jumped on the floor > Then the man of the house said, "Santa you devil > Come on, don't be shy and see our split level > The night is still early, there's plenty of zeit > So come in the den and please have a bite > If only we knew you were coming, by gosh > But I'll call out the wife and she'll give you a nosh > A slice of stuffed derma, a few little strudels > Some chicken salami, some flanken with noodles > Some blintzes, some kreplach, some lox and bialy > A bissel chopped herring, an end piece of chaleh > And if all of these goodies don't fill up your gatkes > Last but not least, some Chanukah latkes." > "A latke?" cried Santa, "what is this delight?" > On the outside it's golden and inside it's white. > On the outside so crisp and inside it's yummy > And he gobbled them up 'til he filled his fat tummy. > hen they gave him a dreidel and showed him the plays > And he took a menorah to light for eight days > And to give Santa some spirit and to show how they felt > For mazel they gave him some Chanukah gelt. > He beamed and he chuckled and said "Kine-ahaora, > I don't want to feel like a Chanukah schnorrer > To show you how much I enjoyed your Jewish snack > I'm leaving you everything, even my sack." > Then he called to his reindeer and said, "Luz mir gehn." > And each one got ready as he schlepped on the rein > "Giddyap Irving, Hoo Ha Sidney, Hi ho Sadie, Let's go Minnie, > Onward Gussie, Upward Solly, Ole Becky, Oy Vey Molly." > And they swore that he yelled as he rode out of sight > "MERRY LATKES" to all and to all a GOOD NIGHT." > > Very Rough Translations of yiddish: > zeckel= bag * maidlach = girl * peckel = coin > meichel = meal * beichel = stomach * kinder = children > balbusta = lady of the house (usually a very nice description) > mezzuzah = Commandments inside a small oblong > ornament attached to right side of the door jam > zeit = life * nosh = snack * stuffed derma = cow intestines > flanken = flank steak > blintzes = rolled like a crepe, but stuffed full with > fruit & cottage cheese (or something similar) > bissel = a little piece * lox = smoked salmon (fish) > bialy = kind of roll, sold with bagels * chaleh = bread > gatkes = guts * latkes = potato pancakes > dreidel = special spinning top, with Hebrew letters on > the side, used for a game at Chanukah > menorah = candle holder for symbolic Chanukah candle > lighting > mazel = luck > gelt = coins > schnorrer: cheapskate, typically used to describe someone > who always takes, but never gives anything back ^^^^^^ WARM GREETINGS FROM ^^^^^^^^^^^^ :-) Ivan Suzman 51/39/36 [log in to unmask] :-) Portland, Maine land of lighthouses deg. F :-) ********************************************************************