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Well here it is nearly 1:00 am .Early friday morning. I am listening to Celine Dion and was in the mood to write; so here I am. I have had a pretty good day, a very blessed day. I spoke with Ryan. He is home and is gaining his strength. He had to go home from the hospital in order to get any rest. I thank all of you that supported Ryan with all of your prayers and well wishes. I know for certain that Ryan has appreciated the support. Today, actually yesterday at 1:00 I had an appointment with a pain management specialist. After taking my medical and family history the doctor asked me to describe my pain. After explaining that ten days of each month (before my monthly cycle) I suffer with pain from charlie horses from the dyskinesia. Just before my menstrual cycle my sinemet loses its potency therefore I double my intake of sinemet which causes the dykinesia. This dyskinesia sets off my arthritis in my lower back and left hip. Because of the water weight gain my fibromyalgia flares up also. I explained that during these 10 days I have a radiating pain that starts out bone deep and radiates outward. Dr. Odom asked about my lifestyle of eating. This consists of low fat, low sodium, low caffeine, and saving protein until the evening hours. This pain management clinic does not do shots or pain medicines. They do electrical shock, heat, and massage. After much deliberation and getting an explanation that these forms of treatment only alleviate centralized pain. They do not help in the "all over" pain that I experience. In a nutshell, Dr. Odom could not offer me any relief. So, I am back at square one. My neurologist has sought out every avenue available to try to deal with this pain issue. The next thing will probably be narcotics. If narcotics is the next step then that means for 10 days I will need to give up some independence because it would not be safe to take a narcotic living alone; therefore, I would need to stay with my parents. Will I be willing to do that? I am kinda strong willed...this will be a lot to think about. Coming here and seeing all of you and trying to give back to the pd community helps me a great deal. I can honestly say that I have been blessed far more than I ever thought could be possible. I am so very thankful for all of you. Parkinson's disease has enabled a very strong bond to form and to grow simply from the reaching out with our hearts in order to ease another's load. Much love and hope, Sandy "You will find as you look back on your life that the moments when you have truly lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love." Henry Drummond