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Juanita, My deepest wishes of comfort go out to you. You are in an awful spot . I have always felt that it is as hard to be a loved one of someone with a chronic disease like PD as it is to be the patient. You both feel helpless but the patient gets much more of the social support and the sympathy. You watch us and stick by us as we slowly deteriorate often isolating yourselves and becoming as much a victim of the illness as your partner - PWP. Take time for yourself to get out of the house and if George needs care while you are gone get out then find someone to come in to care for him - like possibly someone from your local PD support group. If you are giving and giving and giving eventually your "well will run dry". Paradoxically you might become less able to take care of him because you can burn out, become irritable and short and then guilty for allowing that to happen. When talking with George acknowledge his feelings and be as straight forward and honest in your responses as practical. . Knowing someone is there and understands and accepts his feelings is important One other suggestion. You mentioned that he has mental symptoms.and he is not his upbeat self. Confusion can be caused by fever from the pneumonia or possibly from depression. Confusion can be the way depression shows itself in the elderly. He could be depressed on a clinical basis. While he has a good reason for feeling depressed a large percentage of PWP's will develop a clinical depression some time during the course of the illness. This in fact happened to me several weeks ago where I had not been feeling depressed- I started crying for no reason at movies on TV my appetite dropped my energy level fell, and I was irritable. My wife saw me as depressed but I didn't think so. I was started on Zoloft by my MD and 1 week later I was feeling much better. What makes my denial even more remarkable is I practiced psychiatry for almost 20 years and knew all the symptoms and still missed it in myself. This is not to say that it will work for George or that he is even a candidate for antidepressant therapy but you might check with his doctor and see if he/she agrees and will consider prescribing one for him. It doesn't hurt to try. Good luck, Charlie At 02:53 PM 1/24/01 -0800, you wrote: >Just need a place to vent and get some encoragement. The past year has >just been one illness and health problem afterthe other for >George. He has managed to come through all of them. For that I am ever >so grateful! Now again he is terribly ill. He has pnuemonia caused by >aspiration, >choking on food. He is at home as >the Dr felt he would be more comfortable here.Which, of course he is. He >is on antibiotics and cough meds.My main concern is the fact that his >body just gets weaker with each new illness..He seems >to be more affected mentally by this illness than any of the previous >problems. >I just have no idea how to bring his sporits up. I realize that this is >not unusual to >be depressed after being ill for almost >the whole year. We seem to have brought >the temp under control. I guess I just want to make him all better. At >this time his PD >is stable.I FEEL HELPLESS! I know you >will understand. Thanks for listening. >Hugs, Juanita CG for George 74/71/64 Charles T. Meyer, M.D. Middleton, WI PD DX 12 years (at age 44) Age 56