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Jo Ann, Part of it is anger at the disease,part of it is that I control everything but believe me not by choice. He can't drive but I do try to give him tasks in the house to help with.He used to help when our four children were growing up but as far as the house he was spoiled by his mother and never did anything.And i didn't help matters as he got more progressed in his disease. My pity I guess.We both see therapists and I think that is very helpful for him to vent with someone of his own. And I have had my own for many years because of sexual abuse as a child.I have worked that thru and I'm working on caring about myself so I can care for him. I have had 5 of his relatives that we have been responsible for until they started dying in their 8o's and now only one is left. So I have brought up a young family and an older family too.Its time for me a little before my life is over. I'm singing again which I did professionally in the past as well as my nursing job.And I'm trying to make some new friends in the new area we live now.We moved to a smaller more affordable home that he can manuver in better.I take him out when he is up to it and get him whatever radio or parts he wants to give him something to keep him occupied and stimulated.But he only sees me as a caretaker for him although I know he loves me in his own way.What else can I say.He is in bed by 7pm and on nights that I am working at 11pm I take a nap so that's alright. But on the nights I am off it is very lonely.He can't be left alone because he's deaf,can't smell and uses a breathing machine. If there was ever a breakin or fire he would never get out as he can barely see.Our son is here on the nights I work so he is never alone.well enough about us, others have it worse but that's our little story Thanks, Pauline CG David 61/29 years ----- Original Message ----- From: "Jo Ann Coen" <[log in to unmask]> To: <[log in to unmask]> Sent: Thursday, January 25, 2001 7:00 PM Subject: Re: support > Pauline - Is the fact that David is shutting you out because of his > illness and his withdrawing? From the various support groups I've > attended, it seems some of the PWP's hate their situation so much, and > some of them blame it on their past, and some are > resentful of the fact that their spouse is in good health and able to > provide when they can't. I can't make any suggestions because I don't > live with my PWP, but so far, he doesn't exhibit any withdrawing or blame > that I know of. He is just him, and very caring > and understanding and loving. Best to you. Jo Ann >