 |
 |
Dear Listfriends, thank you all, for the positive reactions. I live in Waco (wacko) Texas since dec 97. It has been a 3 wonderful years and I thank God for each day. How did a dutch man end up in the USA, and of all places, in Waco? Faye, my lovely, wonderful and caring wife, brought me as a souvenir from Holland to the USA. We got married at February 21, 1998. At that moment I had almost 9 years PD. Faye knew very well what she did with marrying a PD-patient. She is a general Surgeon and knows a lot about PD, because she studied about PD, to be a better caregiver. But anyhow I wrote her several poems. I have her permission to publish it...so this will be the poem of today and because people ask me often if I go home when I am visiting Holland (my kids live still there). Warm (from the heart) greetings, Kees Paap ==================== Just love you. Virtual contact, hands reaching over the ocean, sometimes the flesh crosses the material space and joins the spiritual touch of our minds. Your mind has touched mine in a way I'll never forget. When I close my eyes, just look at their mirror, I know that your kindness is a special one to me, your halo of hair, spread wide out on the ground, when I kissed you that never ending kiss. You are my heart today, like your face is as I see it. Your skin so pale and easily sunburnt, breaths my soil, while your tongue explores my mouth searching for what? Your kisses have bruised my lips and made me twinkle, wanting more and impatiently waiting for your return. Oh my sweetheart, do you love me with the same intension as I do? Do you dream the same dreams, do you have that feeling of being useless when you're alone, missing your loving half? Now my love it's almost time to let you know that I love you so, that we have to talk about our future, which can be endless. But this body and this mind is 12 years older, no big deal for a mind, but for a body, smashed with Parkinson's Disease, It is tough for you to make up your mind, but maybe I should help. My heart screams, my mind yells at me: "don't do that please!" It's so easy for two weeks, loving your sweet face, your eyes that gaze at me, that makes me melt and disappear in your thirsty soul, to leave nothing but a track. Can I ask you to share my life? You are so much younger, have so much to do with your life, you are going stronger, while I am deteriorating in this second hand body. Yes, my dear it's all up to you. I know it is not fair, but for me it is no choice. My heart says yes, yes, yes and my mind agrees. But you my love, have to be wise, make the right decision. Know one thing, my dear, I will not be hurt, because I just love you so, that whatever may happen, my love for you will stay. ===================== ?Home "Going home?" People asked me when I left for Holland, I thought about my answer, Just for a second and with my hand I pointed at the space all around. "Going?, no coming back home in two weeks" "My home is here, because my love is here" Besides that many other things as I realized a little later, Do I dare to mention them to you? And if so, is there an order? I decide not to fight the temptation, And will start enumerate my list of reasons, Explain to you where and why my home is, Without telling you the most important reason, Well at least not right away. Reason numero hundred to ninety Is because my love is here, She works here and it is not easy, For her to work in a foreign country, And me? I am her house keeper. Reason numero ninety to eighty, Is because my love is here, She hopes to give birth to our child, That will be raised in an American way, And me? I am planning to be a home teacher Reason numero eighty to twenty, Is because my love is here, She encourages me when I sport, Softball, bowling, table tennis, she is there, And me? For her I love it when I do well. Reason numero twenty till ten, Is because my love is here, She loves me so much, She hugs and kisses me all the time, And me? I love it, she is mine. Reason numero ten till one, Is because my Love is here, He is the greatest of all, She loves Him very much And me? He is my greatest love.