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Doug, There are always two ways of looking at things. Being in the depressed mode, you are seeing the darkness, when the sunlight is right behind you. Turn around, change the way you think, and life won't look so bad. You said you read several articles on depression - that means you have an education. Most people in this world can't read. You wrote the email to the list - that means you have a computer. You aren't isolated like so many PWPs. You are attached to the world beyond your normal reach. You're having surgery Monday - Wonderful! You live in a place where you can receive medical help, you have insurance companies fighting over you and you are receiving medication. There are millions of people in this world who will never receive the kind of help you are getting, who have no medication and no insurance. Having bills means you were able to buy things. You have a wife, who acts as your caretaker and who worries about you. You have a car. Your wife has a job. What wonderful blessings you have! And you are scheduled to have a DBS? Wow. How beautiful life is! Some people see roses, others see the thorns. It all boils down to this - life is as YOU make it. Here's a hug and a smile. Pass it on to your wife, your doctor, your insurance contacts, the Medicare people, the bill collectors and everyone elae that may pass through your life. Everyone needs a hug. Then turn inward and hug yourself, for you are a good person. Jerry Finch -- Habitat for Horses, Inc. A 501.c.3 nonprofit bringing humans and horses together to heal one another. Your donations can save a life. http://www.habitatforhorses.org/