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My dad was the one with PD and my parents were 83 when THEY finally made the decision to move to a retirement home with various levels of independence and care. Dad had fallen and, though he didn't break anything was put in the hospital and his doctors said he needed a nursing home. We moved my mom into an apartment with pull cords in the bedroom and bath to call for help. We moved dad into a room in the nursing wing. It was very nice and he had room for quite a few of his favorite things. Mom was able to visit him daily (without driving) until he passed away last August. All in all it was the best arrangement for them. They came to the decision with his doctors. We stayed out of the decision making. We did move them. Now mom is in a place where she is still independent--she practically runs the place--but we know she'll be taken care of if she needs care. We are the closest, mileage wise, of 3 children and we are 200 miles away. My best advice--let them decide, then help all you can and don't feel guilty. Sue At 09:11 PM 3/28/2001 +0000, you wrote: >Hello all, > I generally lurk on the list and get so much helpful information. My >Mom, 74 years old, has Parkinson's and is living with my Dad, 76, who also >has his own health issues (coronary artery disease)and is slowing down. He >is the primary caregiver. I live only a few blocks away, have a medical >background and can help in many ways, but I'm not with her 24/7 like he is. >They live in a wonderful big old house that she just does not want to leave. > She is so attached to it. It's getting harder for Dad to keep up with the >upkeep of the house the way that he wants to. She doesn't want to even >discuss moving, though my Dad would like to move to a retirement community >with assisted living potential for Mom. She is resistant and fearful of >these places. They visited a few together several years ago. The drawbacks >to her are less independence and less personal space, which she wants alot >of. She got very depressed, almost grieving, when they were looking at >these places, thinking that Dad was going to sign them up and she'd be >moving. Actually at that time he was just fact-finding, looking around and >advance planning in his usual Type A way. > My Dad spoke to me today and said he is getting more worried about >her. She has a mild dementia and cannot keep in her mind things like dates, >appointments and most anything to do with numbers. She gets confused about >plans at times. But at the same time, she can hold a deep philosophical >discussion for hours. Her mind is fine there. But my Dad is seeing some >worrisome things. She's getting more frail and weak - needs more help now >with opening jars, etc. She had left the electric burner on the stove "on" >a few times by mistake. Her eyesight's not too great either right now, so >he painted a bright orange line on the "OFF" position so she could see it >easier. He said she doesn't remember what the line is for. Things like >that. He's getting afraid to leave her for extended times, wouldn't leave >her overnight at this point and worries what would happen if he cannot >function or dies. He doesn't want my brother and I having to make these >decisions for the two of them. IF Dad dies, I'd step in somehow, despite my >grueling schedule, maybe even moving back home with her. > Any thoughts or advice? This is causing some tension between the >two of them and I'm not sure how to help. > My Mom is on Sinemet and Comtan. What are the other meds out there >for the dementia of Parkinson's and what is your experience? > Also I know there are websites with assistive devices for people >with Parkinson's. Could you give the URLs to any of these >webpages? I'm most worried about her falling. Does anyone know where to >get those alert buttons that you can wear around your neck to call for help >if you're alone? I used to see them on TV but haven't for awhile. > My Dad doesn't have a computer at home, so he comes to my apartment >every so often to use it. I'm going to get him into the CARE list, because >he needs to be able to talk with people who are in his situation. I think >it will help him alot. I am so grateful for these two lists! >_________________________________________________________________ >Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com > >---------------------------------------------------------------------- >To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: mailto:[log in to unmask] >In the body of the message put: signoff parkinsn ---------------------------------------------------------------------- To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: mailto:[log in to unmask] In the body of the message put: signoff parkinsn