Joan's Journal Speaks
~ to the PLWP Lot ~
(continued)
[photo and link - iris 22] Part 07: 09 April 2001
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Author: joan snyder (jes123)
Topic: "Love, Sex, and Lies on the Internet"
Posted: 2001/04/09
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in case you are interested:
(my speech from the PLWP spring rally)
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"Love, Sex and Lies on the Internet"
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"Hello! it's good to see you again!"
"I love you!"
"What do you really think about...?"
"How are things goin' with you?"
These are phrases we certainly hear a lot if we're online -
especially when we're in chat or on a listserv or a forum.
By now, I know that you are figuring out where this talk is
going - I'm going to talk about the power of love, sex and
lies on the internet.
First of all - we can, in most cases, easily tell by listening
to the subtle nuances of the speakers voice - by their tone,
their inflections, their body language, the look in their
eyes, the "vibes" they send out.
Do Not Get Me Wrong - I've been ripped off and wiped out. I've
been burned - both on and off the internet.
The point that I'm making is this: it's a whole lot easier to
tell when you are in the same room - face-to-face with a
person - than it is when writing an idea that just pops into
your brain and it comes out with little forethought.
As you know, Northern Exposure is my favorite TV show and here
are what two of my favorite characters have to say about words
and the fights they can cause:
"Words are a heavy thing - they weigh you down.
If birds talked they couldn't fly."
Marilyn Whirlwind
"They say that blood is thicker than water.
Maybe that's why we battle our own with more energy
and gusto than we would ever expend on strangers."
Chris Stevens
Actually, there used to be an entire code of etiquette when
the written word was the second most common way of
communicating. But, we have grown up several generations away
from that; we are used to more instant means of gratification
of our need to express ourselves.
In these days of instant communication, we are used to calling
people on the phone, video conferencing, faxes and all the
sophisticated ways of getting our point across.
It seems that we have, however, forgotten the basic rules and
common courtesies that should govern our written word.
To this mix, add age differences, cultural differences, mores
and taboos over what is acceptable and what isn't, religious
preferences and political correctness, and it's a wonder we
communicate at all!
All this and more too! When we are plwp's, our mood swings,
our sleep deprivation, and all the other factors that make our
life more challenging can all add up to make it seem as if
we're one giant Tower of Babel.
But we persevere and despite all of these seemingly
overwhelming problems, we connect and we make contact - maybe
with just a few or maybe with many - but there's that spark of
understanding and unity that cannot be denied.
This spark is a generous and a precious gift - the power of
words is awesome: to impart love, caring, concern; to hurt, to
heal, to confuse, to cause anger and to mislead.
It seems to me that in this place where words are so
important, that we must use this gift of vocabulary very
tenderly.
We all have different "spins" that we can put on others words
and sometimes I wonder if we are not too quick to take offence
or to make judgment calls.
I understand how easy it is to look at things from your own
perspective - after all that's what we are most familiar with:
this database includes our own feelings and reactions to
intensely personal ideas and experiences.
It is after all, the essence of ourselves and we cannot ever
completely walk away from that person that we are, and become
completely objective, nor should we.
We each bring to this virtual dinner table, all of our hopes,
our dreams, and our souls - the very essence of who we are,
and we expect everyone else to do the same.
But in the cyber world, is this always the way it happens?
I have always been one to wear my heart on my sleeve -
anything you want to know about me - just ask.
I tell people just what I think and how I feel and I love
unconditionally.
I have been blessed by meeting some of the grandest "fellow
travelers on this spaceship earth".
But I have also been burned - one time so badly that it caused
my symptoms to progress two years' worth in just six months'
time.
I cannot recall ever being so beaten up mentally and
emotionally (and I thought my heart was made outta scar
tissue).
Just as easily as we become fast and furious friends online,
we can also be taken in.
But we cannot allow these possibilities to influence our
activities online.
We must persevere and not become overly sensitive or
internalize these feelings.
We must keep our faith, our sense of humor, our honesty, and
our good will.
We will survive and become efficient and effective as we
pioneer this brave new world of "cyber-community",
brotherhood, and family.
You might be wondering about where the "sex" part of my speech
is...
Sorry - I just put that in to grab your attention!
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"Hang tough..no way thru it but to do it."
Chris-in-the-morning on Northern Exposure
Jes
Joan Blessington Snyder - PD and Me
http://www.geocities.com/joanbsnyder/ .
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