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Afternoon turning to evening, Sun rays bouncing off ice Water smooth as glass As we go upstream Idling against the current While every other person Is hurrying back to the dock Ready to leave, as we arrive. Normal people are headed in, To find a nice warm spot But we listen to different music We dance to tunes of our own making And we go fishing, when others go home. I watch you make trip after trip back to the truck, Wondering what you forgot this time, Or what you remembered I needed, And didn’t take time to grab. I wonder if you really expect to catch fish Or like me, just needing some solitude As we drift on down the river, or head back up again I watch your eyes reflect the water, And rejoice at the joy in them. Sunset fades into nightfall Stars shine down on us Few words are uttered for hours Not needed, nor missed Somehow we know what’s in the others heart And the peacefulness of a calm river’s nights, Fill our hearts and souls. I laugh inwardly, my weird humor coming to fore Thinking of the absurdity of a Texas cowboy Spurring a boat, in what these northern people think of spring And what would have been the bitterest of winter weather A few brief months ago And my thoughts drift back, on the paths we’ve taken And where we were a year ago Where we fishing in Texas, or was I here? No, a year ago, I wasn’t with you Not quite yet And my humor fades, as I think of those days Of wondering if dreams come true And thinking of a woman, whose bitterness of life Left her flinging insults and sharp words To stab my soul erode my self worth And make me casts doubts Upon my worthiness to even live. I remember the pain of loneliness And the despair of knowing rejection And the blackness of the night Matches the shades of my memories A cold wind blows down my neck, And the chill awakens me to the present You sit, studying your rods so intently You miss my stares at your face And as I look at you, I think of the joys you give so freely And the love you show me daily I realize that for nearly a year I haven’t been blamed for things beyond my control And instead of feeling rejection When meds don’t work, or shaking causes me to spill yet another glass Of red Kool-Aid on a beige carpet When tears of frustration fill my eyes, You seem to know how bad I feel And instead of grinding me down, Your gentle love lifts me up. I’m not used to the total acceptance Of my faults as well as my “qualities” And I know I give you joy The dark sadness in your eyes Rarely shows anymore Our fears of the future are still there And money is so dear Bills and creditors loom While we clean cupboards bare And we try to hide from each other Our fears when meds don’t work like they should Or when new symptoms appear But we smile through the pain And comfort each other’s fear Secure in the knowledge we each have Someone who understands what we feel. My heart screams in agony When I have to watch you realize, Time and this disease’s progression Is leaving their marks on your body And cutting you deep in your soul I try to offer some comfort, And hold you closer to me Wishing desperately to give you a fraction Of the joy and support you’ve given me Our hours pass so swiftly Soon its time to go home it’s not a big house, hell, it’s not even our house but it’s home because that is where we love and hon., I do love you truly bob armentrout copyright 2001 ALPHA AND OMEGA, LIFE GOES ON No money, no jobs, no food in the cabinets Bills piling up, creditors calling at night Resentment flaring up, from kids in two states Ex’s threatening trouble, lawyers looming on the horizon But a wink and a smile pushes clouds of trouble farther away Laughter bubbling like a clear mountain brook Eyes dancing with mischievous glee Smiles from nowhere, for no good reason An out-of-tune baritone singing hours at a time Snatches of half remembered songs from so long ago and so far away Brought out by a heart too full to hold all it contains Two bodies dancing to one rhythm of love Speaking in hopeful terms of a future Instead of melancholy memories of yesterdays joys And today’s pains Nights spent snuggling and sleeping Instead of tossing and turning Thoughts of death, once so familiar and near Now so strange and far away A new country, so weirdly foreign, from all I’ve ever known Once would have been cause for fear and anxiety Instead bringing wonder and excitement And the sharing of new things, make the commonplace for natives, new again. All combine to show That the worm does turn Life is both alpha and omega All of yesterdays bitterness Make today’s joys so much sweeter Happiness reigns supreme _bobarmentrout copyright 2001 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: mailto:[log in to unmask] In the body of the message put: signoff parkinsn