Paul, I couldn't agree more with Joan. Hang in there!!! it hurts like hell (dante's ninth circle, perhaps) I finally had to personify the pd beasr so I could deal with him. (nothing implied, actually he's non- gender) He's one vicious, sadistic b... enjoys the pain and havoc he brings with him. he is never more satisfied than when he can put everything you've lost in your face. maybe this approach isn't for everyone or maybe it's not a good way to handle this disease. it's what comes out of an education in period literature and it works for me. i have a focus for my anger and frustrations. Evil knight, sometimes; also fire-spitting dragon. These images i can deal with. What also helps, but can be painful too, is engaging in an activity requiring very little motion. Sitting on my bed in this spring. i planned the work and improvements needed in my garden. Indulged myself into believing (only momentarily) that I was going to do the work. yeah, right. But i come away from these endeavors with a renewed sense of my worth and capabilities. and for a brief moment i feel like a normal person. living with pd has shown me just how lucky a lady I am. i can say this because of the gift of a loving family and friends. Again, it is not without negatives . Painfully I watch everyone who comes in close daily contact with me have their lives altered -- husband, daughters, boyfriends of same, friends, mothers. They care so much. With all of this in my face along with the other bad stuff, i am a lucky lady. This alone drives pd nutss!!!!!!!!!!! re-read joan's response. she has said it best. Cathy Joan Hartman wrote: > Paul, don't apologize...that's what we're all here for....to vent, to > listen, to encourage and support each other with this terrible thing we > have....some days are good and some days are bad for all of us....hopefully, > we have more good days than bad...but it's a real *&*(&^## not to be able > to do what we've always done....and it's such a surprise when some part of > us that was working doesn't work at the moment we need it to....a month ago > I was in a restaurant with some friends and couldn't get up to leave....and > finally when I did get up, had to be helped out to my car because I couldn't > do it alone.....I was so embarrassed. We cannot change what we got (right > now, anyway but maybe in the future) and so we have to use our attitude and > anything else we can muster up to help us...and I know it's not > easy.....Remember what they say ...life is 10% what happens to me and 90% > how I react to it....and like the poster showing the cat hanging on to a > tree branch with it's claws says: "HANG IN THERE, BABY!" Paul, my good > wishes for you to have a better day. Joan Hartman > > ----- Original Message ----- > From: "Paul Ayers" <[log in to unmask]> > To: <[log in to unmask]> > Sent: Thursday, April 26, 2001 12:26 PM > Subject: Venting!!! > > > Why won't my right side do what my left side should? I can't take notes > > anymore, I hate this disease. My brain will not let me learn to write > > again, I just do not understand. How will I ever, never mind. Sorry... > > > > Paul E. Ayers > > Sales Manager > > Black Box Network Services > > Indiana Operations > > 317.577.1460 > > [log in to unmask] > > www.blackbox.com > > > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > > To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: > mailto:[log in to unmask] > > In the body of the message put: signoff parkinsn > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: mailto:[log in to unmask] > In the body of the message put: signoff parkinsn ---------------------------------------------------------------------- To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: mailto:[log in to unmask] In the body of the message put: signoff parkinsn