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I 'hear' what you are saying and I can empathize with you, but I fully understand Peter's position. I have been there and I think it is a most unpalatable position to be. All I can do is to give you the affection you are giving so freely on this list. Fondly, Michel ----- Original Message ----- From: "Camilla Flintermann" <[log in to unmask]> To: <[log in to unmask]> Sent: Sunday, April 22, 2001 1:13 PM Subject: Re: Wheel Chair .......and Nursing Home SNIPPED > > Dear Dorothy and all--- your post was timely. Yesterday a friend brought > over a wheelchair for us to try out. Peter is having trouble remembering > how to use it, and making it "go" where he wants, and I did wheel him to > the table, etc. > > BUT all this was preempted this AM. He fell again in the bathroom, having > gotten up without calling me. After a 1/2 hour of struggling, he fiunally > let me call 911and the squad guys lifted him and put him to bed. > He didn't need / want to go to hospital. > He at once said he wanted to get a room in a NH. In fact was angry that I > couldn't move on that at 8:00AM on Sunday ! Finally I called the 2 > retirement communities nearby, where ours has a transfer agreement for NH > care until our own care wing is built. (We have visited both in the past, > and Peter has maintained for years that he would go to a NH rather than "be > a burden" for me and jeopardize my health.) He was satisfied to wait till > Monday AM, after I told him that the admissions people would call us > tomorrow morning. > I've been trying to get him to use the wheelchair, and to always call me > when he wants to get up, but it is hard to get him to do this, as he > forgets. I can only reassure him, that as always I will cooperate with > whatever plan is best for him. From his point of view, the glass is always > 1/2 empty, and it's hard to get him to consider alternatives, once he is > set on something. I know this isn't just dementia or depression, as it has > been his position for years, and he has a Medical Directive that refuses > all kinds of treatments if he is in a condition where he really can't > function or get better. Quality of life is extremely important to him, and > he draws the line a lot earlier than many would. I've often wished he had > the obstinate persistence of someone like Don McKinley ! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: mailto:[log in to unmask] In the body of the message put: signoff parkinsn