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---------------------------------------------------------- Re-Post: 043816 Dated 26 Jun 1998 17:59:46 Subj: cognitive distortions - #1 - all or nothing thinking ---------------------------------------------------------- hi all when i posted my 'series' on cd last summer base on the 'perceptions' theme i credited david burns and his book 'feeling good' with having been of great help to me i believe that his theories on cognitive therapy and automatic negative thoughts apply to our society in general not just those suffering with clinical depression since learning to recognise negative distortions in my own thinking i find that i can 'see' it in others more and more easily [kind of like when you buy a volkswagen] but this leaves me in a quandary if one of the ten cognitive distortions is 'disqualifying the positive' am i not guilty of emphasising the negative by 'seeing' distortions in others? ouch, my head hurts! nevertheless, i will press on with this long-pondered scheme of mine viz sharing what i have learned about negative thinking with my cyber-family one distortion at a time david burns describes negative thoughts or cognitions as running through my mind automatically without the slightest effort on my part to put them there they are as obvious and as natural to me as the way i hold a fork the first one, "all or nothing thinking", is based on perfectionism, on the idea that everything can be reduced to innocent / guilty either / or pass / fail black / white whereas, in reality, everything is shades of gray black and white do not exist if i get a 'c' grade on an exam instead of my usual 'b' i may say to myself "i am a complete failure" if i do something stupid i may say to myself "i'm always doing stupid things" if the keyboard i'm tapping at has some coffee stains on it i may say to myself "this keyboard is totally filthy" "i am a complete slob" in contrast, undistorted answers might be: "this keyboard has a couple of spots on it, but most of it is clean" "i choose to clean what and when it is important to me" the unending negative internal tirade only erodes whatever feelings of self-worth i may have left which is a real shame because the unending negative internal tirade is completely unrealistic and a fraudulent distortion of the facts there is nothing on this planet that is totally black or totally white there is nothing on this planet that is totally brilliant there is nothing on this planet that is totally ugly including us we are humans not gods as humans we are naturally fallible we 'should' make mistakes we 'should' be imperfect that is how we learn and grow which is why we're here perfectionism the uncompromising pursuit of excellence is not the problem by making the effort to pursue excellence regardless of the outcome i cannot lose by calling myself a failure after an unsuccessful attempt at an impossibility regardless of the effort i cannot win if we 'expect' perfection in ourselves as well as in others we will be constantly disappointed and bitter if we 'expect' imperfection in ourselves as well as in others we may be frequently surprised and delighted your cyber-sibling in shading janet ---------------------------------------------------------- janet paterson: an akinetic rigid subtype, albeit perky, parky . pd: 54/41/37 cd: 54/44/43 tel: 613 256 8340 email: [log in to unmask] . a new voice: the nnnewsletter: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/janet313/ . a new voice: the bbbook: http://www.geocities.com/janet313/wordbook/ . a new voice: the wwweb site: http://www.geocities.com/janet313/ . ---------------------------------------------------------------------- To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: mailto:[log in to unmask] In the body of the message put: signoff parkinsn