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1996/02/08
my trick
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My first memory is of early morning in my crib in Mum and Dad's
bedroom.
Dad had been puttering about, getting ready to go to work, and
left the room, and came back awhile later (I suppose he had gone
down to have breakfast). I knew that he would come back in, and
somehow I knew that he would come over to the crib to check on me.
So I decided to play A Big Trick On Him, And Pretend That I Was
Asleep, When I Wasn't, Not Really. Can you see the little
pea-brain at work? I must have been all of 3 years old. I felt
very smug that I was able to trick him, and then enjoyed having
him tuck me in tenderly.
There's a basic deep strength inside me that the later atmosphere
(when I became aware of it) couldn't sap. And you say you see
generosity in me. I can feel it, too, with no strings at all. I
think it's part and parcel of that first impression of feeling
totally safe and cared for.
janet paterson
1996/02/08
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when i was diagnosed with clinical depression
in 1990, i started on anti-depressant
medication and regular 'talking therapy'
sessions with my psychiatrist. she suggested
that our earliest memory is significant - it
almost 'sets the tone' for our later
personality development. after analysing our
family history in some detail using old photos
and certificates etc to pin down dates and
names and places (all on dr.guthrie's advice),
i found myself understanding more than i would
have thought possible, in light of the
shortage of older family members to call on
for information. in retrospect, the entire
exercise was both revealing and freeing for
me. looking back on various situations from an
adult viewpoint enabled me to understand and
realease many hidden and hoarded childhood
memory/perception/impressions.
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http://www.geocities.com/janet313/wordspie/199602/08a.html
janet paterson: an akinetic rigid subtype, albeit perky, parky .
pd: 54/41/37 cd: 54/44/43 tel: 613 256 8340 email: [log in to unmask] .
snail mail: 375 Country Street, Apt 301, Almonte, Ontario, Canada, K0A 1A0 .
a new voice: the nnnewsletter: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/janet313/ .
a new voice: the wwweb site: http://www.geocities.com/janet313/ .
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