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----- Original Message ----- From: janet paterson <[log in to unmask]> To: <[log in to unmask]> Sent: Thursday, June 28, 2001 4:32 PM Subject: via sandy's parkie porch... > How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity > > 1) At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a > hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. > > 2) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice. > > 3) Insist that your e mail address is: Xena-Warrior-princess@O.. > > 4) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with > that. > > 5) Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN." > > 6) Develop an unnatural fear of staplers. > > 7) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over > their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso. > > 8) In the memo field of all your checks, write "FOR SEXUAL FAVORS". > > 9) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy." > > 10) Don't use any punctuation > > 11) As often as possible, skip rather than walk. > > 12) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer. > > 13) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go." > > 14) Sing along at the opera. > > 15) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme. > > 16) Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. Play a tape of jungle sounds > all day. > > 17) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party > because you're not in the mood. > > 18) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard. > > 19) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!", "I Won!" 3rd time > this week!!!" > > 20) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling > "Run for your lives, they're loose!" > > 21) Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to > have to let one of you go." > > janet paterson: an akinetic rigid subtype, albeit perky, parky . > pd: 54/41/37 cd: 54/44/43 tel: 613 256 8340 email: [log in to unmask] . > snail mail: 375 Country Street, Apt 301, Almonte, Ontario, Canada, K0A 1A0 . > a new voice: the nnnewsletter: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/janet313/ . > a new voice: the wwweb site: http://www.geocities.com/janet313/ . > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: mailto:[log in to unmask] > In the body of the message put: signoff parkinsn > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: mailto:[log in to unmask] In the body of the message put: signoff parkinsn