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Madeline suggested that I write and introduce myself - here goes! I was diagnosed almost a year ago with PD-yo. I'm mid-forties, 3 girls all in college (Florida State, Univ. of Evansville, and VA Tech), step-son is senior in h.s. In my current "empty-nest" state, my pal Bogey (Shetland sheepdog puppy) is my new child and therapist! My husband is retired military, still on the road much of the time working to modernize the F-16 (until the new jets are built and the F-16 is retired). He is learning to be supportive. I have the absolutely best job (and best kept secret profession) in the world. I am the executive assistant for the CEO of our local association of YMCAs. I spend many hours each day at a computer. My job description says I market the Y- build ads, brochures, commercials, and public events; what that really means is I get to spend my days telling people about the thing I love most. My job is my "calling" and independence - can't imagine life without the Y or without being with everyone who works there everyday. I already have a hard time making it through each day without letting them know how much I hurt. They would be terrific about it, it's me that doesn't want to face what seems inevitable. If I could tell them unemotionally, it would be fine - I know I won't be professional about it though - I hate crying in public. And I haven't been forthright with my husband about everything either. We live in Yorktown, Virginia. When I was first diagnosed and talking to my family, friends, boss and co-workers about it, I was o.k. My dad has the old-age kind, so did his mom, so my expectation was to have symptoms similar to theirs. I thought it was not a big deal, that it would progress slowly until I was old and actually kidded about it with some of my friends. Needless to say, I was very wrong. My symptoms are nothing like my dad's or grandma's. And my symptoms have increased faster than I expected. My tremors are very slight (tight), hardly ever extreme (big) enough to be seen by anybody else, but I feel them inside and if you put your hand on me you can feel them. What I had no idea about and am having such a hard time dealing with is the pain. I have a LOT of pain. Almost non-stop now. My feet, legs and hands "burn", I have sporadic isolated spots of deep boring pain in upper arms and legs, sometimes intense pain in hips and random spots, and tingling and numbness all over. My dad is still living and says he has no pain. And my doctor has no other patients that have pain with their disease. Until I found the APDA web-site, I questioned his diagnosis. I didn't know pain could be a symptom. He has done no tests to rule out any other disease and shows no interest at all in my particular case. If I hadn't told him, he would still have no idea that pain could be a part of PD. Needless to say, I am in the process of finding a neurologist who knows more, has more experience and will take an interest in me. I am on Sinemet and Eldepryl. I take Ambien to help me sleep. There are only two neurologist offices in my local area. I spoke to a dial-a-doc-info-line nurse who was wonderful and patiently described the doctors' stated interests. Only one local doctor says his interest is PD and MS. I couldn't get an appointment with him, but did with another doctor in his office (not until December). But I have written the "interested" doctor a letter explaining my symptoms and asking him to take me on. Waiting... If new doc isn't right, I guess I will have to try expanding my search. What I'm looking for from being a member of this list service is emotional support. Bogey is a good listener, but can't really relate! I know just putting my thoughts into words on this screen will be therapeutic and good for me. (Already is!) I believe what I have learned is that PD is different for everyone, but I would love to "talk" with other people (or their families) with similar symptoms (misery loves company). I'd love to have a better idea how long I might expect to be able to function on my own. And maybe my experiences will be helpful to someone else out there. So, that's me in a nutshell. Melanie ---------------------------------------------------------------------- To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: mailto:[log in to unmask] In the body of the message put: signoff parkinsn