Sunday night I attended a PD funding event in Palm Desert.  There I saw an older couple (older than me) that reminded me of the following definition of love you can bank on.  I wrote this piece not too long after learning I have PD.  At the time I was struggling with finding some stability in my life and learning all I could about care-givers.  Since message traffic is low and the holiday season is in the air, perhaps the following definition is not too long or overly idealistic. 

,,,,Clay

-- Love you can bank on --

The strongest love comes with age and grows with time and, if you are lucky, it is a reward you receive during your final years.  It is not the passion and fire of youth.  It has nothing to do with sex for it is beyond the age of reproduction and child rearing.  It is what I call love you can bank on.  It doesn’t need to be declared, although it helps.  It is not feed with trinkets, although it helps.  It is a deep love developed over time that provides security because you know your mate is with you for life, no matter what.  It provides the closest thing to immortality on Earth because as things change around you, it is the one constant.  You are truly blessed if your love reaches this stage.  You know it is there and you can draw from the bank any time you need.  It is dependable.  You are the banker for your partner and your partner for you.  You are there any time your partner needs and no matter what size the withdrawal, you give all you can for this is true love.

You cannot enter this stage with anger.  You have to drop the petty score keeping that develops over the year.  You have to forgive and with forgiveness comes peace.  It is sitting around a warm fire not saying much for you respect the daydreams you partner is having of days gone by and joys yet to come.  You kiss with tenderness more than with passion.  It is the kind love that takes you to a nursing home to feed your lover even though they may fail to recognize you.  It is the kind of love where you can tease with friends and family about how hard it is to live with your partner but they see through the joking and know they are witness to something truly special.  It is totally without jealousy for you have grown to relax and trust.  It is the kind of love where you partner’s independence and achievements give you a warm feeling of pride and you freely allow time for them to blossom.  Even though you may, at times, feel the love is being taken for granted, you know in your heart it is love being banked on.