Hello all, I think there is something for all of us in this story. Kathleen ------------------ Reaching more than 31,500 subscribers in 107 countries, this is... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ HeroicStories #269: 10 January 2002 www.HeroicStories.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Mirror Image Story Editor: By Mark Brennaman C.O. Fines Kentucky, USA In early 2000, I was a victim of a senseless, unprovoked act of violence that left several scars on my neck. I survived and the assailant is in prison, yet I will never really be the same. To shave is to see one of the scars. Until recently, to see the scar was to trigger a visual memory of the violent act. I'd "see" the assailant's rage-filled face behind me. My first solution was to stop shaving and trust my hair was properly combed. I just didn't want to see the scar which brought back the memory of an ugly event that nearly claimed my life. The dilemma worsened with each passing day. Instead of feeling better with time for surviving, I began to remember the terrible event more often and more vividly. It seemed as though I experienced the attack day after day. I finally sought help. My doctor's first question to me was, "Do you have a good relationship with your father?" I replied, "Yes, we have a great relationship." The doctor then asked if my father had taught me how to shave. Before I could answer that question, a memory I had forgotten for many, many years popped in my head, and I immediately smiled! "Doctor," I replied, "this is so cool. I remember standing at my dad's side as a little boy, infatuated with the process of shaving. It got to the point that when he shaved in the mornings, I was always there watching him, asking endless questions. "My dad bought me a little plastic toy razor, and it even had a knob on the bottom of the handle that opened the top, just like his real razor. The blade was a piece of cardboard that looked like a razor blade. After that, I got to smear shave cream all over my face and shave with my dad." My doctor then suggested that I think of this pleasant memory every time I shaved to displace the memory of the attack. Everyone in my family remembers my little plastic razor after all these years. It has been so much fun reaching back to my boyhood, a time when I trusted everyone and yearned for the future. The remembrance has replaced my violent memory. I not only get to feel the love my dad showed me then when I shave today, I get to remember what it's like to be innocent once again. Precious memories are made in an instant and last forever. I am so thankful my dad had the patience back then to let me "shave" so I can shave today without visualizing an ugly event. The memory alone has strengthened an already strong relationship. What made me very happy then is making me happier today. Thank you, Dad! EDITOR'S NOTE: The author's website is: http://www.witwords.com ----------==========----------o----------==========---------- HeroicStories is MOSTLY funded by its readers. The stories are THAT important to them. Full Details: http://www.HeroicStories.com/fund.html So shouldn't you be ADVERTISING here?? See http://www.HeroicStories.com/ads.html ----------==========----------o----------==========---------- We're still getting comments on "Getting There" (#265), which published 27 December 2001. John in Arkansas: "Because our family ALWAYS traveled, like the author's family did in her story, we kids assumed that everybody did -- and took it for granted, as she did. I remember fainting on a Civil War battlefield, then getting to enjoy the cool museum while the rest of the family hiked that day. The day we really found out how lucky we were was when my sister, her fiance, and I all were visiting Mom and Dad and, of course, Dad dragged out the slide projector and we watched tray after tray of vacation slides, trips-to-Grandma's slides, and whatever else. When it was all over, my sister APOLOGIZED to her fiance for his having to sit through all those slides. With tears in his eyes, he answered, '"Don't apologize, at least you went places. All we did was visit family.'" Linda in Maine: "Reading 'Getting There' brought back the many wonderful trips my family took when we were kids. The three of us kids would be piled in the back of the station wagon for camping trips at least once a month. We generally camped in national forests and spent a lot of time hiking, fishing and just being together out in nature. As I got older and realized that not all families spent time together in this way, I cherished the experiences more. Both my brother and myself have a deeper awareness and appreciation of the natural world around us because of these trips we took. Thank you for the memories." Chris in Virginia commented on "Bringing the Chicken" (#268): "I read this story with a sense of deja vu. I was on the debate team for my high school in Des Moines, Iowa. Since this was a parochial school, my teammates came from all over the city and surrounding counties. But all of the upper classmen practiced something I called 'the transitive theory of gasoline,' providing rides to the students who couldn't drive yet without asking for anything in return. It was just understood that this debt was to be passed forward, that when the freshman became seniors they would be the ones driving all over town to take a new generation of freshman to or from practice." Pat in New Jersey: "This story reminded me of the 'Purdue Club' at the church my husband and I attended as students in the 60s. Purdue Club was open to everyone in the church who was affiliated with the university -- staff, students, faculty. The second Sunday of the month, we spent the afternoon with a picnic potluck meal, games, sports, talk, and chasing after overactive children. The children all knew that an adult (not always one of their parents) would be there to kiss a booboo, change a diaper, get a drink, etc. They knew that whichever adult scooped them up or offered assistance would love them and take care of them just like that adult was their parent. Food *could* have been a problem for undergrads, but they were told, 'No food required, just bring your appetite.' They generally brought soda, potato chips, etc. Married students and faculty brought other food. There was always a feast, more than could be eaten, though only half the group brought food. Even today I remember the kindness of those people to young adults who were not related to them, but were their family all the same." A. in California had a thoughtful point about "Bringing the Chicken": "How lucky when we are in a position to bring the chicken! It might be nice to remember that not all young couples end up in this enviable position. There are a lot of folks who by age 50 who are still embarrassed at only being able to bring the potato chips -- or at only bringing themselves and not the other half of a couple. More often than not, both categories are passed over socially, to the ultimate loss of the whole, in our overly fragmented society. Paying it forward in deed is often more appreciated than paying it forward in dollars. It's also often a lot harder." Andy in Indiana: "I occassionally comment on really old stories, because I'm WAY behind on my e-mail reading. I do shuffle non-essential e-mail to the side and read it at my leisure. Today I'm into my second full day of working with technical support to get my computer to work properly. Stuck on intermittent hold for hours on end, I turn to my e-mail backlog to keep me occupied and sane. So far I've read about seven HeroicStories. Let me tell you, they really go a long way to reminding me to have patience and treat everyone around me with respect. I just wanted to reiterate how much I enjoy this service you provide." Joyce Schowalter, Editor in Chief Co-Conspirator to Make the World a Better Place Do YOU have a story that needs to be told? Please read our submission guidelines at http://www.HeroicStories.com/submit.html or send a blank e-mail to [log in to unmask] before submitting a story. COMMENTS about stories are always welcome: please include your first name and location: [log in to unmask] SUBSCRIPTIONS to HeroicStories are FREE. Just send a blank message to [log in to unmask] or see our web site. HS is available to newspapers for FREE as a regular feature column. See web site for details. TO UNSUBSCRIBE: see the end of this message FOR INFO on subscriptions, see http://www.HeroicStories.com or e-mail [log in to unmask] HeroicStories is a project of www.thisistrue.com and is published by Randy Cassingham, Freelance Communications, PO Box 17326, Boulder CO, 80308 USA. The stories are available to newspapers for FREE as a feature column. HeroicStories is a trademark of Freelance Communications. Copyright 2002 HeroicStories.com, All Rights Reserved. All broadcast, publication, or copying to the WWW, e-mail lists, or any other medium, online or not, is prohibited without prior written permission from HeroicStories.com. However, permission is granted to circulate this publication via manual forwarding by e-mail to friends providing that the text is forwarded IN ITS ENTIRETY, from the "Reaching more than" line on top through the end of this paragraph, and NO FEE is charged. We request that you forward no more than three copies to any one person -- after that, they should get their own subscription. Distribution sponsored by Lyris Technologies, Inc. <http://www.lyris.com> This copy sent to: [[log in to unmask]] TO UNSUBSCRIBE: DO NOT reply to this message! Simply send any message mailto:[log in to unmask] This method works no matter what address you send from. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: mailto:[log in to unmask] In the body of the message put: signoff parkinsn