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Hello, I sent this email earlier today to the care givers list. However, after someone on this list emailed me today about my sharing on this list, I decided to forward this to all of you also. I suppose this is just normal grief process, but perhaps there is something here worth reading? I am aware that no one can possibly realize, what goes on in a PWP and care givers relationship! However, family can and do, sometimes play a part in the PWP life! For the 15 years of my dad's life that he had Parkinson's, I have also had a neurological disorder other than Parkinson's, which results in tremors, sometimes extreme. One of the things I recall at all family gatherings, was my father and I having contest to see who could eat without throwing their food around and who would finish last! We used to comfort each other! Now when my left arm gets to shaking so bad I can't use it, like tonight, I think of Dad and how he doesn't have to do this anymore. It makes me happy and sad, all at the same time. Johanna Thompson Ontario, California [log in to unmask] --- Johanna Thompson <[log in to unmask]> wrote: > Date: Mon, 4 Mar 2002 11:36:42 -0800 (PST) > From: Johanna Thompson <[log in to unmask]> > Subject: Just some thoughts... > To: PD care list <[log in to unmask]> > > Hello Everyone, > After sitting here reading all your post, a couple > of > thoughts came to my mind, that I want to share with > you all. > > My mom, was my dad's (PWP) care giver for 15 years. > During that time there were many changes in their > lives and I can remember times when my mother would > tell me her deepest feelings and thoughts on the > issues. Most of the time however, they just lived > their lives as best they could a day at a time! and > used their support groups. > > My dad went to several trials for new medications > and > on a couple of occasions he actually got better, but > then they would take away the medications of course > and he'd be back to the way he was prior, that is > when > I can remember him being depressed. They both > finally > decided it was not good for him to do this anymore. > > It seemed to me that for the most part they (mom and > dad) communicated fairly well, or pretty much like > the > rest of us without PD! Who of us really has no > problem > with communicating??? > > My dad used to take the dogs out for walks every > hour! > this really bugged my mom and finally I asked her > what > was the problem? if he took the dogs for a walk all > day long, so what? Well they lived in the mountains > and she was afraid he'd wander off and get lost, or > fall down and not be able to get up... > > So, what am I getting at here? to the outsider > (family) it seemed my mom was just being a nag! but > when I got right down to it, she was in fear! so we > got my dad a cell phone to take everywhere and a > beeper! everyone was happy! They finally had to move > from the mountain down to Reno. > > My mother got a part time job in an art gallery up > in > their area, so she could be away from dad for awhile > and around other people. Dad did not like this > because > he wanted her around all the time, but that was very > good for their marriage and for her sanity! > > Another thing that comes to mind that I feel > important > to share today? In the past 6 months before my dad's > death, my mom had become very angry with dad. Every > little thing he did was beginning to get on her > nerves. She went to her doctor for a check up and > the > doctor gave her a list of general questions and when > finished, it turned out that my mom has depression! > > The doctor put my mom on an anti-depressant and in a > week or less my dad said to her one day, "you sure > are > nicer to me"!!!!!!!!!!!!!My mom felt better also. > Point being, that this disease is obviously very > stressful to all involved and sometimes prolonged > stress can cause health problems. In my mom's case > depression, heart murmur and blood pressure > problems! > Please look after yourselves as well as your PWP! > > I have had a reoccuring memory of my dad and it is a > good one! He and my mom were here at my house last > November, for a week. We were having great > difficulties with dad, as he was hallucinating and > wandering around the house lost in the middle of the > night, etc. > > He kept lunging at the dogs, wanting to love them, > but > unable to do it in a "normal" way and it was scaring > the dogs! who are 70 pounds. I would put the dogs > outside but he'd let them in and it was a bit of a > nightmare! > > I started to feel very angry at him and would yell > at > him as if he were a child! say things like "what are > you doing?". Then it came to me and I don't know > how? > that every time he would get up and do this, instead > of yelling I would go up to dad put my arms around > him > and tell him I loved him! I think someone on my > Canine > Epilepsy support group told me to do this to calm > the > dogs down. > > It worked and in that short period of time I must > have > hugged him and told him I loved him, 100 times or > more! who would have thought that a short time > later, > that memory would mean the world to me! > > Johanna Thompson > Ontario, California > [log in to unmask] > > Father-Clarence Marion Brady Oct.28,1929-Feb.11,2002 > diagnosed with Parkinson's 1988 __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Try FREE Yahoo! Mail - the world's greatest free email! http://mail.yahoo.com/ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: mailto:[log in to unmask] In the body of the message put: signoff parkinsn