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Larry, Is it possible that your brother has had more mini strokes and that impaired his ability to move (dead weight to move anywhere)? Undoubtedly, not being "danced" around the house each day is part of the reason he is not moving.....but is it the entire reason? If he could "dance" a few feet.....(bedroom to the top of the stairs) would it actually get him anywhere in the nursing home? (It was a l-o-n-g walk from my mom's room to the dining room.....and she had not walked that distance in years). Climbing stairs is a different muscle group than walking on straight land.....many of us could climb stairs when we had difficulty walking. You mention "enjoying" walking with your brother.....could you still take him for long walks in his wheelchair when you visit? My husband and I used to enjoy long walks, but he does not easily accept a wheelchair for me at this time, so we don't take those walks anymore. Eventually he will accept a chair, and we can "walk" together again. Have you tried this with your brother? Is there anything his wife cannot do with him at the nursing home that she would do with him at home (other than dance him from one piece of furniture to the other?) I am continuing this line of questions only because I do believe that family members sometimes have more guilt and more difficulty accepting the decline than the patient does. Or we as PWP wrestled with the decline in earlier years when our families were still "questioning" our symptoms/diagnosis, ignoring our subtle struggles, or telling us how we could handle them better.....and now we are more accepting (and have less energy) to deal with some of these issues. Sometimes we have fought the fight valiantly....and decided to watch the world in our own quiet way. How often in the day is your brother "combative" or "lettting you know he doesn't like the situation".....How much more often does this occur than when he was 50 years old? (Some people are always combative and could never be satisfied.....others are more easy going from the start......has this changed??) It is difficult to face aging, and inability to cope with simple tasks of life. I did come to understand/accept the fact that in a nursing home, my mother was safe, well nourished, clean, warm, dry.......had more activities than she would have had at home, around more people than she would have been at home (and most are alive, responsive, attentive....staff and visitors), and more mental stimulation. Rita ---------------------------------------------------------------------- To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: mailto:[log in to unmask] In the body of the message put: signoff parkinsn