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as posted at newvoicenews newsletter at yahoogroups.com and MGH webforum ------------------------------------------- from janet paterson <[log in to unmask]> on Sat, 02 Nov 2002 18:21:38 -0500 in re love hi all mr fig wrote: >HI there > >Long time no see >I've been hiding so no one can see >All the hurt that is in me >I have been hiding you see from me > >And I did not like what I see >So now I'm changing you see >So that I can really see >Both you and me > >I am guilty as can be >Of hurting a lot especially me >Now I know it's not only me >It's others who come in contact with me > >Love is the topic you see >I've got to write a letter you see >Of why I love my wife >After 36 years she wants to dump me > >The first thing I must do >Is love myself >And then I will see >If she can understand me > >I've let Pd run my life >I've run from life and my wife >I started to gamble away our fortune >And now I know the misfortune > >Pay back is hell >And here on earth >We pay and pay and pay >It hurts > >Counseling is where we are >Can we salvage a marriage gone this far >I do not know the reasons why >But we are here for another try > >WHY DO I LOVE THEE WIFE OF MINE >ATTACHMENT TO ME HAS NOT ALWAYS BEEN KIND >You would think after all these years >The words would flow instead of tears > >I sit here at 5 am can hardly see from a stream of tears >I don't want to lose you, you see my dear >But how do I write the words I fear >I fear I will say the wrong things and boy I've done that a plenty thru the years > >How do I love >Let's count t h e waves >I've said to you along the shore >But now it's time too come ashore > >Would letting you go be an act of love ? >The hurt would hurt forever my love >I wish I could write from within my heart >Looking for a new fresh start > >I've let pd run my life >I've run from life especially you my wife >You have become my caregiver >But I care to have my wife > >Intimacy is gone astray >I am lonely without yo U r touch >Oh the pain >It hurts so much > >I wrote this so the world can see >How much you mean to me >Please let's not dwell on the past >Let's build a future of one that will last >The tears are still flowing and fast >I a m praying for words that I can say >Please help me dear Lord >Help me today my dear mr fig i am so glad that you wrote about all of this because that means the automatic negative thought gremlins who have taken up residence in your poor battered brain due to pd and the grieving thereof as well as maybe cd too do not have complete control and you still have some fight and some spirit in you to express your feelings which is important since we live by our feelings and hiding them does no one any good even though we are all brain stained into expressing so-called good emotions and hiding so-called bad emotions but none of them are bad they are all spirit although some may be illusions conjured up by those same fake artist gremlins who love to distort our vision and our lenses but you know the answers already and just need to scrub your eyewear a tad bit maybe with some help so that you can see that you and your mate are not being punished you are both wholly loved and cherished for who you really are you are simply being given a tough challenge which is not given to just anyone only to those who are up for it and you are just you wait and see much love janet janet paterson: an akinetic rigid subtype, albeit primarily perky, parky pd: 55-41-37 cd: 55-44-43 tel: 613-256-8340 email: [log in to unmask] smail: 301-375 Country Street, Almonte, Ontario, Canada, K0A 1A0 a new voice website: http://www.geocities.com/janet313/ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: mailto:[log in to unmask] In the body of the message put: signoff parkinsn