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hello and welcome to our not so exclusive club!! i understand what you are dealing with in terms of facing this disease. i was diagnosed at age 39 and i am now 51. to say that i was blissfuly ignorant and perhaps even glib with the news would be an understatement. all that mattered to me was that i did not have a "real" disease like ms, or md or one of those other "awful" diseases. pd was something that i had heard of on occasion but certainly no horror stories went with it to make it scarey. besides, my husband andi were just getting our lives back on track after his deployment in operation desert storm and we had 2 beautiful babies to keep our lives overflowing. no time for me to worry about a left arm that didn't swing or felt fuzzy at times. i had returned to work as a bartender at the country club and when it became difficult for me to count back change or to cut fruit, i took the advice of co-workers and promised that as soon as things slowed down in my life, i would go to a chiro to treat a pinched nerve in my back.....that's what everyone said that it was and i'd had an mri (just to be sure) and it showed nothing amiss. looking back, after i was finally diagnosed and the meds were controlling my symptoms and life was back to normal, i remember thinking, boy if this is the worst parkinson's has to throw at me-this is a cakewalk! now, of course, i realize that it was denial and avoidance at their best. might i suggest that it is important for you to explore & to experience each of the emotions of grief before you can make your peace with this disease? this is not an easy process-it goes in no rhyme nor reason-and just when you think that you have finished one, another area that you thought you had experienced and put to rest rears it's rotten little face and you must confront that emotion again. i've been at this for over 13 years now, and i must confess that i am still slip-slidin' down the path to understanding and coming to grips with this disease. i remember something that someone wrote here on this listserv. it was about why parkisnon's is called a disease-it went something like: dis (means not) ease (at ease in our own bodies). this helps me to put things in the proper order. if you would like to go to visit my homepage, it is listed below; if you have any questions or if you would like some additional websites or if you just want to vent, please feel free to email at the address listed above! the fact that you are seeking information is a great start. i only wish that i hadn't waited almost 7 years to become active in pd awareness. remember-knowledge is power!! on to other business-Dear Jo Anne; you are in my thoughts and my prayers and also those of my family. we're pulling for you, girlfriend. also, last night on the tv show "My Wife & Kids," one of the subplots centered around buying boxing gloves autographed by Mr. Muhammad Ali. we just happen to have such a treasured prize for our raffle for our Shake, Rattle & Roll event which takes place in Peoria, IL on June 28th & 29th. if anyone is interested in purchasing a raffle ticket for the boxing gloves or a different ticket for one of 6 baskets (each worth at least $500), please let me know and i will send you details. all proceeds will go to the Parkinson Alliance. -- Joan E. Blessington Snyder 51/13 http://www.pwnkle.com/jes/jes_web/index.htm <[log in to unmask]> "Hang tough...........no way through it but to do it." Chris-in-the-Morning (Northern Exposure) ---------------------------------------------------------------------- To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: mailto:[log in to unmask] In the body of the message put: signoff parkinsn